Phoenix Rising
I am still on the metaphorical floor, trying to catch my breath from the past week. I can't believe it's been a week. The past 3 Fridays have brought rejections; I wonder what this one will bring. My rough draft of my thesis is due.....and I'm not quite there yet. Not by a long shot. So it will be a late night. It's just been a little distracting, you know, having my life plans crushed. Not that I'm bitter.
The other day I was woken up by a phone call and my baby nephew on the phone. And he can say "Jay-jay!" Not quite "Auntie Jaime", but it's a start. And yes, it occurred to me that that's really what matters in this world, but it didn't quite take all the sting away.
Right now, this weekend, I will allow myself to focus on little things, "trivial" things. I will get my work done and out of the way early, and I will let myself do NOTHING if I feel like it. I will lounge in sweats and read magazines. I will not tell myself I am a loser and a failure. I will remind myself that I am loved by many people in many different ways, and that I'm never really alone. I will allow myself to obsess over the new issues of Vogue and Elle.
Now for the really important question - is it ever appropriate to wear hot pink Juicy velour sweatpants to class? And what does one wear with them?
Anyway....I've tried to paste this YouTube video in, and I'm tired and it's not working, but click this link to hear the song I've been loving lately. It's set to the Twilight movie, but it's a song by Barlow Girl, "Never Alone".
4 comments:
I swear babies and animals are THE best forms of therapy. Oh Jaime, don't let this be an end all for you..take it for what it is and now's your chance to go do something great despite setbacks. I don't care what letters you have after your name, to choose to work in oncology and make a difference is an accomplishment many will never be able to have! :) You ARE making a difference already.
Hi Jay-jay
After one little life defining moment I used to go to class barefoot in loose shorts and a hugemongous ancient sweatshirt with tons of holes and rips. I don't think I could have pulled off the hot pink Juicy velour sweatpants but I sure was damn comfy. Obviously I'm probably not the one to ask about what to wear but I'm confident you'll figure out what works for you over your days. I do have a pair of old army boots that I think would look swell with your pink sweatpant ensemble. Maybe some thick gangsta bling might also give you some of that phoenix rising pick up. Seems to work for rap dudes and stuff. Check them Vogue and Elle mags they probably got stuff like that in them.
Here's a silly little quote by Nietzsche that I kind of like:
“He who would learn to fly one day must first learn to stand and walk and run and climb and dance; one cannot fly into flying.”
~Nietzsche~
Nietzsche was a bit too uptight in my humble opinion but this quote is kind of pretty in it's own way.
Although, I think he left out falls and metaphorical floor stuff (Ubermensch my butt). I especially like the dance part. Old falls still hurt but the dance part makes it worth it for me. You'll find your wings again Phoenix.
Yeah never alone ... I think we all get withdrawn moments to heal the occasional scrapes and soul punches ... but never really alone
“I slept, and dreamed that life was Beauty;
I woke, and found that life was Duty.
Was thy dream then a shadowy lie?
Toil on, sad heart, courageously,
And thou shalt find thy dream to be
A noonday light and truth to thee.”
Beauty and Duty
~Ellen Sturgis Hooper~
Hi Jay Jay- u wear ur hot pink pants and I go in bag like Bruiser like Elle- how dat? Miss u antie JJ- Grammy helpin me type dis-coz I don't talk yet doesn't mean I don't feel an love u an prowd of u.
Ur prodical nephu-
Trey
just saw this quote and thought of you:
“Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow.”
~ Mary Anne Radmacher
I am sure you will get back on your feet when you are ready. take a break, take some time for you in the middle of all of your responsibilities. Your chosen career path is so amazing. you have accomplished so much already and you are making a different everyday by being you.
peace, hope and love,
Lily
Post a Comment