last post of 2008!

My nephew, obviously. Adorable.

Starbucks, possibly my most favorite thing ever.

Confession: I watch "The Hills" on MTV. It's a guilty pleasure, much like my love of reading young adult novels like Gossip Girl. It's brain candy - I don't have to think, I just chill out. So when Whitney moved to NY and they created a spin-off show, "The City", I was pretty excited, being that, HELLO, I love Manhattan. Sadly, I could only watch the first 10 minutes or so. SO boring. And I had to laugh - they described Whitney's "uptown" and "downtown" friends - and her "downtown" friend, Erin, lives in Gramercy. Um, Gramercy is NOT downtown. And a socialite is not exactly the best representation of uptown. But I digress. 

My week up North was a nice break. I got to see my nephew, celebrated Chanukkah and Christmas, saw family, and did lots of reading. I saw old co-workers, which was fun, and visited a family I used to nanny for. It was really nice to see everyone again. But the funniest thing was when my mother and I went to Starbucks the night before I left, and we've been to this Starbucks a million times before, but for some reason, as she was backing out of her parking space, she forgot there was an island there and as she pulled away, my mother totally ran over the island. hahaha! It's a good thing she has a big SUV, b/c she would have totally ruined the undercarriage of a car. She was all, "where did that come from? that came out of nowhere!", as I'm laughing hysterically in the passenger seat. And I'm sure everyone in Starbucks saw her, too, which just adds to the hilarity. (She's going to kill me for blogging this!)

Anyone always see those Calphalon cookingware commercials? Everytime I see the convection oven one (which is quite a lot, since it's ALWAYS on), I'm reminded about the fact that until very recently -- say, a year ago -- I thought it was CONFECTION oven, not CONVECTION oven. I simply thought it was an oven where one bakes sweets. I don't know, I don't cook, it sounded like it. Now I know. But I still don't cook. 

I came back to NC early so I could do some research and reading in preparation for the upcoming semester, since I'm taking a sports medicine class and a pharmacy class, both of which are new for me. It's pretty low-key here, since most people aren't back yet. But I like it that way - it's quiet, and I can get work done and go to the gym, and sleep in, which is something I rarely get to do once the semester starts. I also am re-thinking my topic for my Master's Paper.....I don't know. I wanted to do something about pediatric cancer survivors and late effects, but sometimes - and I know this is bad - I reach saturation point about cancer. I can't even explain it. But I'm debating switching my topic, which is bad, since I really don't have that much time to figure it out, really. 

Reading: Girl Meets God, by Lauren Winner

Listening: Paramore

to the customers at the B&N in Durham:

The people who are wrapping gifts for donations do NOT mean that they will wrap your whole 3 big shopping bags of B&N goodies for your lousy donation of a dollar or two. And the people behind you do not appreciate it when you have a stack - yes, a STACK - of books and DVDs awaiting wrapping, with bags of unwrapped things on the floor, while a line forms behind you. Buy your own wrapping paper, you cheapskate. 

Also, when you go to wait in line for the cashier - yes, there is a sign that says "line up here" with an arrow. But that does NOT mean the line goes straight into the aisles of the bookstore. There is an aisle that is cleared parallel to the registers explicitly for this reason. There is no good reason why people should think that the link would snake around aisles of the bookstore while the aisle near the registers is free and clear. 

and don't think I'm letting you customers at Starbucks off so easy, either - if you don't know what you want, don't get in line and stand up at the register endlessly debating drinks! There are people behind you who need their caffeine fix and are getting more annoyed by the minute at you. step out of line, figure out what you want, and get back in line. 

thank you. 

confessions.

sometimes, I eat peanut butter right out of the jar. i drink way too much caffeine. i obsess over the pottery barn kids catalog, planning future nurseries for my kids as i read. i love catalogs. every morning, as i eat my breakfast, i read nytimes.com. i want to go to medical school but am terrified i would never get in. i also want to be a writer, and sometimes i don't see how these mix. i like to eat Cool Whip by the spoonful. i'm very picky about my starbucks drinks and will send it back if it's not skim or if it has whipped cream. sometimes i think i'm too serious. i sometimes wonder what the hell i'm doing with my life. i miss the boys i used to babysit for. a lot. i love my nephew so much it physically hurts - this is that primal, instinctual love that i think parents have. i obsess about bugaboo strollers. i don't like that i'm getting older and getting wrinkles. i have angel wings tattooed on my back and though they will probably show in whatever dress i wear for my wedding, i don't care because i love them so much. i put my M&Ms in the refrigerator before i eat them. i voted Republican (for the first time ever) in this election for the presidency but then voted straight Democrat for everything else. i miss playing rugby. i like when i have laryngitis and have a hoarse voice, because then my voice doesn't sound so prissy and like i'm 10 years old. i could finish off a large pizza by myself. no lie. i used to be able to run 2 - 3 miles at a time in college. i wish i could do that again. i hate mixing nike and adidas - like if i'm wearing a nike shirt, i have to wear nike shoes. no mixing. i probably straighten my hair too much, although i'm working on that. if i got into the PhD programs at UNC, Yale, and Columbia, I honestly don't know which one i would choose right now. people tend to tell me i'm an overachiever, but i mostly feel like a big slacker and like everyone is doing more than me. libraries and bookstores are some of my most favorite places. i miss Manhattan more than i probably should. i also love Chapel Hill, though, which is confusing. i seriously adore the robins' egg blue Tiffany boxes. i miss my job at MSKCC nearly every day, and i wasn't even getting paid for it. even if they all taste the same, if given a choice, i will choose the cupcake with the pink frosting. 

To Write Love on Her Arms

I found this organization last year after a friend of mine had joined their group on Facebook. It originated from this Christian rock band, but they formed an organization to help teens and other people struggling with depression, self-harm, suicidal thoughts, addiction, etc. It is an amazing organization, and one that truly believes in their mission. They believe that beyond treatment, the support of community is crucial, because we aren't meant to live life alone. Please go to their website and read about them. Two out of three people who are suffering from depression never seek the help that they need. Suicide is the third-leading cause of death among those 18-24 years old. No one talks about this - and maybe if more people did, we'd see those numbers change. This is a great organization, and this holiday season, it's something to think about. 

holiday cheer from my nephew!

who needs mistletoe when you have this cutie??

monster.

I just finished watching the movie Monster, which is the story of Aileen Wuornos, the prostitute who was a serial killer. She was executed in FL in October 2002. I remember this because I was actually living in South Florida at the time, and knew of Wuornos from my Women's Studies classes, and when I read that she was being executed, it caught my eye. If you've ever seen the movie, it is a very tricky thing, because not only is it excellently done, but it also actually portrays her as not exactly the monster you'd expect her to be. And I know she's a serial killer, but it also makes you think. It makes you put the case in the larger societal context. It's interesting, because numerous police officers involved had to resign because they sold details of her case for movies and tv shows, and here's the even bigger kicker - Ted Bundy was even offered life in prison instead of execution - but Aileen was never given that option. I am not saying she was a good person. I know she was mentally ill. But I don't think it occurred in a vaccuum.  I just think it would be interesting to view her story from the lens of society - she was sexually and physically abused and raped from a young age, worked as a prostitute, first killed in self-defense.......She had a baby at age 13, who was given up for adoption, she lived in the woods at the end of her street for 2 years during that time, she was prostituting by 13 because she had no place to live and no money....that all has to take a toll on someone. I think female aggression is viewed in a much, much different way than male aggression - female aggression is much more hated than male aggression. It is seen as much more abnormal, much more dangerous. There seems to be a hatred toward violence committed by women that is not there when men do it - look at how society viewed Susan Smith, Andrea Yates - even today, look at how we see Casey Anthony. Believe me, I cannot fathom how anyone could ever hurt, much less kill, their children. But I do think that female aggression and violence carries much more derision than male violence, and that Wuornos's case is illustrative of this. I think because we see women as inherent nurturers, and when that goes awry, we're left with this thing that doesn't quite fit into our schema of how things are supposed to be. 

What does it mean to give 100%???

I don't know if anyone else has seen the LAF's new contest - they are asking people to nominate those in their lives that give 100% and embody strength, courage, and commitment. The prize is for the nominee to spend a day with one of the 13 people who are in the advertisement - including Susan Sarandon, Lisa Leslie, Hilary Duff, and of course, Lance Armstrong. (No secret about who I'd want to spend the day with!). 

If you know someone in your life who embodies these three characteristics and gives 100%, you can nominate them here. The deadline is 12/31/08, so you have less than a month! Get to it! 

lessons in love

How could you not think he is supercute, with this picture? 

(and check out his camo hoodie! how badass is THAT?) 

I miss my nephew. A lot. I was looking at the pic of he and I with Santa. He wears a keychain, one of those lanyards, around his neck, with a few keys, a fluffy white dog keychain, and my mom and I got him an Elmo keychain that laughs when you press his belly. Trey loves that keychain. It's like a security blanket for him or something. It's so cute, because it's almost as tall as he is. I cannot imagine my life without this little boy now. At not even two years old, he can teach everyone about simple things like love. He is so loving, and so unconditional with his love. His innocence at everything he sees is so refreshing. When do we lose that? When do we start to put conditions on our love, or build walls around our hearts, instead of loving everyone in our lives so openly? We stop vocalizing it. But not Trey. And I hope he never does. 

residents and sleep

photo courtesy of the New York Times 

The other day, I mentioned the new report about decreasing residents' fatigue. Today, in the NYTimes, there is a very interesting piece on this as well. In fact, I love this. It really illustrates that nothing comes without strings attached, and sometimes we're not sure which is better. I wonder what the dialogue is in medical schools about this. 

cupcakes cupcakes rah rah rah!

I am super excited for tomorrow. My roommate and some friends of mine are going out to dinner to this Asian restuarant, and then to Sugarland for cupcakes/dessert!! Not Magnolia, Buttercup, or Crumbs, but still excellent! I am so psyched for sugary cupcake goodness. 

'tis the season....

This is my last post as a 27-year old.....wow, I feel old. Tomorrow is my birthday, smack in the middle of my finals and final projects. Good times. I got my Vineyard Vines promotion package in the mail yesterday, and I love it. Vineyard Vines is a company that sells clothes, accessories, etc, that are reminiscient of what they call "the Good Life". It's very vacation-y, cheerful, preppy....the clothes never really go out of style. I became a Whale Rep (their mascot is the Vineyard Whale), which means I get to promote the brand and visit retailers in the area, and I even get a small clothing allowance! I am very excited to work with the other Whale Reps here at UNC and at Meredith to do something next semester. 

I can't believe the year is winding down. And then we start all over again. Where does the time go? It seems like just yesterday I took my driving test on my birthday and got my license....I can't believe I've been driving for 11 years. That's crazy. 

I read an interesting article in the NY Times today. It talked about how a panel wants to change residency training again. Years ago, it was made mandatory that residents were capped at an 80-hour workweek, to help prevent fatigue and medical errors. Now they want to cut that back even further. I have mixed feelings - and by no means do I even pretend to know what I'm talking about, since I'm not a doctor. I mean, it's good that they want to prevent fatigue, and yes, I agree that fatigue interferes with good doctoring. But what happens when these physicians are done residency and are on service for weeks, and find themselves unable to handle the hours? I'd be interested to see what seasoned physicians think of this - especially ones that completed residency before the 80-hour workweek cap. 

my future husband

If you could just take one minute (well, about 3) to click this link and watch the video, I'd really appreciate it.....it's Lance, how bad could it be?

be somebody, do something

Such a thug. 

He cracks me up.

how could you ever possibly resist a face like this???

I just downloaded a new cd - Kaleidoscope Machine, by Katie Costello. Excellent. She's from Hermosa Beach, CA, and she's only 17. Her songs convey a much older soul, and her voice is richly layered beyond her years. One song in particular, "Congratulations", struck me - here's a snippet of lyrics: 

why does there exist a need, to be somebody, do something,

whose origins are from the box we all know too well

what i need  is to be okay

being nobody, knowing it'd be alright, alright

what made us think that being happy 

came from a piece of paper that said congratulations?

I was up in NJ for the holiday, and the highlight of my trip was definitely seeing my sweet, sweet nephew. He is almost 20 months old, and - although I am highly biased - one of the cutest kids ever. He loves music, and "dances" whenever he hears it. His dancing consists of swaying back and forth and bending his knees so he bounces up and down....it is so adorable. Sometimes he gets his hands into it and goes all out. He absolutely loves to dance - even to my mother's cell phone ring! (Although in all honesty, her ring is "Sweet Child O'Mine", which has been a favorite of Trey's since he was a baby!). We were watching the movie Hairspray one night, and he absolutely LOVED it. He was enthralled, dancing along with it. He is such a good kid - you can take him to any restaurant and he'll behave. He is getting mischievious - he likes to pull hair and sometimes he hits, but then when you go to reprimand him, he'll open his mouth (his sign for giving you "kisses") and rest his head on you. So he definitely knows his cuteness factor is skyhigh. I miss him already so much. 

This is the last week of classes, so things are getting crazy with work, and I am finishing up my Columbia application to their Sociomedical Sciences program. I really like their program, but I don't want to get my hopes up. Why would I get in now, after being rejected 2 years ago? *sigh*. I miss NY. I do love it here in Chapel Hill, and it does feel like home, but I also really miss Manhattan. I miss beers at Dorrians, Pinkberry runs, even the crowdedness of the city sidewalks. I miss good cupcakes. And good falafel. Anyway, at this point, I will be happy if I get into ANY program. I can't even think about what happens if I don't get in. I can't believe, though, that this is the end of the semester. It has absolutely flown by. Next semester I will be taking: my Master's Paper (like a dissertation, we have to register for it), Reproductive Health Policy, Pediatric Pharmacotherapy, and Neurotrauma in Sports. I'm really looking forward to my classes, the big dork that I am!