Why should you watch the DNC

So....I normally shy away from posting political stuff. I used to be quite a spitfire, never shying away from a good debate. And sometimes, I still get into the political scuffle with my dad and cousin, but at school, in class, I tend to shy away from it. I'm not here to change their opinions, I think we can agree to disagree on things. But I have to post about tonight's events at the DNC. Honestly, as I get older (and I shudder to admit this), I find myself leaning toward Republican ideals re:fiscal things, and things like malpractice. But damn, I love Hillary Clinton. I voted for her for President, and wish with all my heart that Obama had chosen her for VP. Years ago, I read her autobiography, Living History. And tonight, watching her speak, the hair on my arms stood on end. I got chills. She is one tough woman. And I mean that with the highest respect and admiration. 

To run for president - to simply be a woman in the man's world of politics - is stunning. It's admirable. Just thinking about speaking in front of millions of people like she has, terrifies me. And she has persevered, she has faced criticism from the press, from her peers, her opponents.....in a time when it is still somehow "acceptable" for even members of the press to call Hillary a "bitch", and for people to make disparaging remarks about her body to try and tear her down, she has stood tall and unapologetic. She is smart and sassy, ambitious, and tenacious. Little girls watching this election process see this, and that makes me proud. Running for President is so risky - the possibility of failure is so real - and she lost the nomination this time around, but she handled it with grace and dignity. She didn't shrink back in defeat - she stepped up to the plate and has truly proven herself to be an amazing individual. There is a strength in her that comes from a fighting spirit, and we can all learn from that. 

Plus, George Stephanopolous is hot. Even if he IS short. 

So I read about this over breakfast.....

In today's New York Times, there's an article about a new test for women and ovarian cancer. It's a blood test that aims to catch ovarian cancer in an early, treatable stage - which is great, because only about 20% of ovarian cancers are caught at an early stage, when it's still confined to the ovaries and has a high survival rate. After it has spread, only about 30% of patients survive 5 years. The test is called OvaSure, was developed at Yale, and has been available through LabCorp since June. Good news, right? Not so much. The Society for Gynecologic Oncologists issued a statement almost immediately saying that in their opinion, it has not been validated enough. Many gyn-oncologists believe this is being used to capitalize on women's fears, and may lead to unnecessary operations, more tests, and stress. 

Most people have heard of the CA-125 blood test, which is a tumor marker blood test - but this is better used in women who already have ovarian cancer, to track the disease's progression, rather than as a screening tool, because of unreliable results. 

So where does this leave us? Essentially, right where we are. The symptoms of ovarian cancer are so generalized that many women don't really think anything of it - bloating, feelings of fullness, pelvic pain/pressure, urinary urgency/frequency, changes in appetite - see what I mean? This is why, by the time it is often diagnosed, ovarian cancer is in its later stages and notoriously hard to cure. (I hate that word, "cure", but that's a different story). 

alternative thinking

I'm not sure where to start with this post. About a year ago I stumbled upon this book called crazysexycancer tips. You may have seen Kris (the author) on Oprah - she also did a documentary on TLC (I think) entitled crazysexycancer. It was basically her story about having an incurable, indolent cancer and learning how to make herself as healthy as she could, and live WITH cancer. Though I don't always agree with everything she writes (she's a big advocate of raw foods, juicing, complementary/alternative meds, etc), I like her attitude and think she's a positive person. She has a website, sort of like a web community, and I've been part of it for probably about 6 months now, or something like that....and it's getting harder for me to digest much of what is written. Many of these people have cancer, or have a family member with cancer, and are big proponents of CAM (complementary/alternative medicine). Don't get me wrong, CAM has its place - in conjunction with Western medicine. But when a chemo patient is posting that their oncologist told them to stay away from raw food and other people are telling this patient "no, it's fine, don't listen to him", I feel the need to step in and say, there's a reason he told you that - your immune system is decimated by the chemo and you need to minimize your chance of infection. PLEASE talk to your oncologist about it. Needless to say, much of the time, this is either ignored or debated. I feel like many of these patients aren't talking to their oncologists, and it's worrisome to me. One woman posted about having a mastectomy last week and she is trying to decide whether or not to do chemo. Cancer was also found in her lymph nodes. She was exploring "alternative" treatments. It took all my willpower not to post anything, and just to close the screen. Of course, it's an individual choice about whether to do chemo. But one of her reasons was watching her mom go through it decades ago for Hodgkins. Things are much, much different now - yes, I will fully admit that it's still a toxic experience and we need more body-friendly treatments, but for now, it's the best we have. I just worry about patients like this because, like I saw at the breast cancer conference back in Feb, when someone is really, really sick, they'll grab onto anything that provides a kernel of hope. Anything. And when someone posts about how they "cured" cervical dysplasia with their diet, or how vaccines are bad, or how they won't even eat fruit because of the sugar and so forth, it's really hard for me to read this with an open mind. 

As I progress further and further in my academic career and down the path of my journey in oncology, I'm beginning to want more empirically-based information, more info backed up by hard facts. I don't know........I guess maybe I'm torn between being cynical and being hopeful. 

middle ground

Oh. My. G-d. I am exhausted. I babysat the twins today for 4.5 hours, and let me tell you - it is definitely a full-time job, as all kids are. But there's two of them. It's A LOT harder than I thought....and I wasn't expecting it to be easy. But when neither one is eating lunch and you're trying to calm a screaming baby and trying to feed the other one without getting food all over the place, it's hard. Then they smile at you with their big gummy smiles, so honest and innocent, and you fall in love with them all over again. 

Still trying to figure out some sort of time management/schoolwork routine and trying not to get too overwhelmed . I had a huge craving for Zabar's hamentashen today. And an H&H bagel. And, of course, Pinkberry. I miss feeling like I was living on the pulse of everything. It's a dynamic energy in the air in Manhattan that can be overstimulating and overwhelming, but also very exciting and satisfying. I'm trying to find that middle ground between NY and Chapel Hill again. I miss my work at MSKCC a lot, and often think of it. I miss that singular focus on oncology and everything that goes with it. I miss being in an environment where the passion for it is almost palpable. I miss feeling like my work is actually making a difference. This summer, I woke up every morning, excited to get on the subway and go downtown to work. I did work on the weekends and enjoyed it. I miss that. 

"Believe that your life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact." - William James, American psychologist and philosopher (thanks, K!)

picture time again!

Are these not the cutest things you've ever seen? Of course, I'm a little biased. I miss my baby nephew!! 

decisions

Today was my first day of classes, complete with riding the bus to school......and though it was a very, VERY long day, and I am exhausted, I feel pretty good about it. My work is definitely cut out for me this semester, and if I think too long about it, I'm a little overwhelmed. But I just won't think about it. 

In other news, Christina Applegate, who is 36 years old, went public with the news that she had a double mastectomy three weeks ago and will undergo reconstruction over the next 8 months. Her breast cancer was caught early through a doctor-ordered MRI because of her mother's breast cancer history, and only in one breast, but she elected for a prophylactic double mastectomy because she tested positive for the BRCA 1 mutation. Personally, I think her decision was a brave one, and when faced with a life-threatening situation, the desire to live and be healthy overrides everything. People act like losing a breast and having reconstruction is the worst thing in the world, but I think it is a small price to pay for taking your health into your own hands and gaining some peace of mind. But, everyone is different. Our society puts so much emphasis on women's bodies, and our sexuality and femininity are so wrapped up in our physical selves that to drastically alter them like this really makes people uncomfortable. People get even MORE uncomfortable if the decision is made NOT to have reconstruction. Audre Lorde wrote about this in her awesome book The Cancer Diaries. 

southern village smackdown

So.....I do love living here in Southern Village, but I have to say....it's definitely not NY. I just had a random lady who lives across the circle knock on my door and ask me if my name was Jaime. I said yes and she proceeds to tell me that the reason she knows that is because I had thrown away a large cardboard box full of stuff this morning. And apparently, we're not allowed to throw away cardboard boxes - we need to break them down and put them in the special cardboard box dumpster. So she goes on to explain that there's a "dumpster monitor" who goes around and actually checks to make sure no one's doing this, and if they are, that dumpster gets blocked off. Why? I have no idea. Like......is this the biggest thing to worry about here? Honestly, I felt like I had actually done something WRONG when she was lecturing me. I had to suppress my grin of disbelief the whole time. 

another statistic

I read the news and my heart sank. Like I've written before, it doesn't get any easier, no matter how many people die. At least, not for me. Leroy Sievers died this weekend. He had a blog, My Cancer. Some of you might remember the Ted Koppel documentary about living with cancer that he was in. He had metastatic colon cancer and was only 53. 

transit worries

When I got back to Manhattan in June, I was a little nervous about whether I still remembered the subway routes I used to take, especially because I was living on the East side, so now I had the 6 only - but midtown, where I worked, was another story. So the 6 took a day or two to get used to, but almost immediately it was like nothing had changed. Except I don't do buses in NY. Subways, sure. But buses, I'm afraid of doing something stupid, like getting on one and ending up in Queens or something. So in the year I lived there before, and all summer, I have not used the bus. Which brings me to this: Chapel Hill tranist. I will be taking a bus this year to school. It seems simple enough, walking up the road to the Southern Village Park and Ride lot, and taking the express bus right to UNC hospitals and then walking to SPH. I don't know why I'm so nervous about this - it's not like Chapel Hill is THAT big that I'll find myself somewhere crazy. But it's something new, something I'm not used to, so I guess it's understandable. 

Questions of the Day

This is sort of what my place looks like. Home, sweet home. 

Why is Southern Village so big? I turned in one street too early, and wound up driving around the houses part of the development for a full 6 or 7 minutes, FINALLY winding up at Brookgreen, which I knew led out to the main town square part. And it turns out my street is right off Brookgreen. But seriously, if I didn't know that? I'd probably still be out driving. 

Why are Ikea directions not really directions at all, but drawings of little martian people putting things together? And how come they don't come with hammers and screwdrivers? I had to go to Lowe's and get some. And by the way, they don't sell pink hammers or screwdrivers. Why not? 

And why are printer cartridges so expensive? That's just annoying.