ummmm

So much for not blogging about politics. I just went on Gawker, and apparently there's a video that was filmed in Israel and it asked American Jews and Israelis their thoughts on Obama and the whole situation. Some nasty things were said, some racist things were said....but also, I have to say, this is not a clear and accurate presentation of Jews. But some of the subsequent comments written by commenters show anti-semitism is alive and kicking here in the States.

a controversial and possibly alienating blog post.

You know, I try - I try - to stay out of politics now....I learned my lesson last year. But you know what, I can't do this anymore. Obama compared the "plight" of the Palestinians to that of the Holocaust. News flash: There are about six million differences why that's not true. He visits Buchenwald tomorrow, and hopefully things can be clarified for him. Though I'm not a fan of President Bush, I did like his Middle East policies. He said that the US would only engage Palestinian leaders not compromised by terror. Obama doesn't seem to agree with this. He seems to equate the moral standards of the Palestinians to those of Israelis. I'm sorry, but when was the last time you heard of an Israeli terrorist suicide bomber in the Palestinian territories? We (yes, I'm using we, I'm aware) don't strap dozens of nails to us and walk into a pizza place and blow ourselves up. We don't walk into a University cafeteria and set off a bomb that's on our vest. Rather than encouraging less settlements by Israelis, he should be encouraging the Arab world to denounce Hamas and terrorism. Maybe he should actually cross Egypt's borders and visit Israel and witness the clean-up of a suicide bomber attack. He'll see members of the Orthodox group ZAKA meticulously collecting body parts to ensure a proper Jewish burial for those killed. They also collect the body parts of non-Jews, so that their families can have a complete burial.  

Marc Thiessen, who is a former Bush speechwriter, even said this is a huge shift in US policy regarding Israel. And you know, Saturday marks 3 years since my first trip to Israel, and I'd return in a heartbeat. Yes, there is genocide all over the world, but nothing merits comparison to the Holocaust. People were shoved into gas chambers and killed, and their loved ones put their bodies in the incinerators. Those in concentration camps, when they were "lucky", used soap - but that soap was made from those who were killed. And the world watched. Since March 1933, the death camps were operating (Dachau opened then). The camp Theresienstadt, or Terezin, killed 15,000 children. And as late as 1944, the Red Cross visited the camp to see if it really was a "death camp", and the Nazis were able to fool them. And the world just watched, and read about it in the back pages of the papers. 

Where is all of this coming from?

As a Jewish woman who has had considerable religious education, I cannot adequately describe the feeling of walking through Yad V'Shem, or the DC Holocaust Museum, and having the thought, "This could have been me."  I cannot put words to looking at heaps and heaps of human hair, and glasses, and shoes, and wondering how many belonged to relatives of mine. The fact that half my family is Roman Catholic wouldn't have saved me back then. In fact, they'd probably be taken to the camps with me. I can't tell you the revulsion I felt at learning about Joseph Mengele, and imagining what my best friends' Bubbe went through at his hands when she was at Auschwitz. I grew up with the names Dachau, Auschwitz-Birkenau, Bergen-Belsen, Majdanek, Sobibor, Treblinka, among dozens of others. My kindergarten teacher showed us the numbers on her arm one day during naptime. On Yom Hashoa, we all wore golden yellow stars with "Jude" written on it, in rememberence. You don't forget these experiences, these lessons, even years and years later.  

I just had to get this off my chest. 

video.

My mom sent me this video. Heartbreaking.

Columbine, revisited.

Monday, April 20, marked the ten-year anniversary of the Columbine High School shootings. I remember that day so well. I was a freshman in college, and saw students being interviewed on tv -- and realized, belatedly, that I recognized my distant cousin being interviewed, because she went there. I remember the candlelight vigil held that night, and everyone trying to wrap their heads around it. When I was in high school, this was unimaginable. We were able to come and go as we pleased, no one needed to wear an ID, the doors weren't locked to the outside, bags weren't searched.....we were safe. We felt safe. We were safe. I look back and see it as such an innocent time. I graduated high school right before all these school shootings happened, and it really was a different time back then. Even when I was in college, I never ever gave thought to the idea that a shooting could take place on my college campus. I mean, who does that? It was inconceivable. Is bullying getting worse? Are we getting more violent as a culture? Are we getting angrier, meaner? Are we becoming less tolerant, rather than more accepting? Or are more students daring to be themselves and are getting bullied because of it? Is mental illness increasing among teens? It could be none or all of these, but more likely a confluent mix. I can't believe it was 10 years ago. I was 18. Many of the kids who were shot were my age, or close to it. They would be adults now, possibly starting families or careers. And yet because of two young boys who cold-bloodedly hunted students down and taunted them before killing them, they're not here today - and their parents have that pain every day.

What's happening in our world?

miraculous disappearing cancer?

Here is an article in today's NYTimes about how some cancers "might go away on their own". Call me a cynic, but I'm not buying it. They do bring up rare cases of melanoma and neuroblastoma, but those are the exceptions, not the rule. They bring up the issue of breast cancer - and how this might, upon further research, let women with invasive breast cancer "watch and wait" on a lump. But what if the cancer doesn't go away on its own? What if it gets bigger and then the cancer is at a more advanced stage by the time one decides to treat it? I don't know. I have mixed feelings about this. There will be people who read the article and are ill-informed and not ask their doctors about it and might have completely different conclusions that are harmful. I've grown increasingly wary of articles like this.....

playing God

I'm sitting here in the Health Sciences Library, trying to do work and killing time before my class at 2. I've been really bad with concentrating lately, so I went on cnn.com, and found this really interesting article about how med students aren't choosing family medicine and there will be an expected shortage of over 30,000 primary care doctors by the year 2025, as the AMA calculated. That is craziness. And while it all made sense - doctors are frustrated by all the red tape, etc, - it made me sad, too. Because I'd love to be a doctor. But then I remember my own family physician telling me that if his kids told him they wanted to be a doctor, he would discourage them from doing so. 

I've been thinking a lot about genetic testing. I have mixed feelings about it. On one hand, I am wary of it because it almost feels like we're playing G-d. But on the other hand, if you could know if you had a high predisposition to something like cancer, wouldn't you want to know so you could take preventive/protective measures? Once you know, you can't not know. Once you get those results, your life is changed forever - either way. Is it worth it? 

Jenny McCarthy, MD?

So.....I think this entry is venturing into controversial territory, but I'm writing it anyway. Has anyone seen the Jenny McCarthy interview where she says that vaccines are hurting our children and causing autism? Oh yeah, and she says her son is "recovered" from autism. News flash, Jenny: Find my a reputable psychologist who says someone is "recovered" from autism, and I'll show you Santa Claus. She talks about biomedical science and parents taking their children's health into their own hands, and this strikes me as incredibly dangerous and irresponsible. She is not a doctor, her background is not in biology or chemistry or science - the CDC, AAP, NIH, have all stood by the fact that vaccines do not cause autism. In fact, it is much more likely that the vaccine schedule that children are on coincides with developmental trajectories that relate to autism spectrum disorders. Jenny McCarthy's rage in this interview is well-controlled (to a point), but you can plainly see it and hear it. I don't know. When asked about putting kids in jeopardy by not vaccinating, she mentions that any parent with a child living with autism would rather have their child have the flu - well, what about polio? hmmm, Jenny? We have come this far because of medical science. It may seem like autism is on the rise, but more likely, it's merely the diagnoses that are more accurate. It's even been said that Albert Einstein most likely had a form of Asperger's. 

It's like the crazysexycancer thing - when you have an emotionally and possibly physically vulnerable population who desperately want an explanation or a cure, you have to be very careful of claims and easy fixes. Sometimes people want something so badly that they'll convince themselves it exists. 

palintology

So, somehow, I guess this blog lately has been a little political.....and this entry will be, as well. To be honest, I'm not sure who I will vote for this year. My pro-choice views are extremely strong, which leans me toward Obama, but his campaign annoys the hell out of me, and I find him smug and naive. Fiscally, I am more Republican, I guess - and on the death penalty view, I am Republican, as well. I was reading cnn.com and stumbled upon an article written by Glenn Beck about Sarah Palin, basically just refuting various claims that have been made against her. Initially, I too thought she was anti-contraception - but here is what she has said: "I'm pro-contraception, and I think kids who may not hear about it at home should hear about it in other avenues. So I am not anti-contraception. But yeah, abstinence is another alternative that should be discussed wtih kids. I don't have a problem with that." As I get older, I find myself being more agreeable to this - I think kids today are growing up incredibly fast, and sex is seen as something that's not a big deal, which is sad. Girls - young girls - are dressing sexy, wearing makeup at 11, and are bombarded with sexual images 24/7, and so I think this is a refreshing break. And she tripled funding for special needs children in Alaska from $26,900 to $73, 840. 

Anyway, just things to think about. I'm not too fond of either camp right now. 

seven years later.......

In the mail today I got my New Yorker, New York Magazine, Bergdorf Goodman magazine, and a Bergdorf Goodman catalog. It was a very New York-centric mail day, to say the least. Funny it should happen to be September 11. Today is one of those days my generation invokes like our parents do the assassination of JFK. Or how many of us Gen Xers invoke the day the Challenger blew up. Seven years ago today I was wearing a white tank top and blue Abercrombie sweatpants, with my pink Air Max Tailwind sneakers. I had a morning class, and our fellow sorority sister Stacy would come by the house and pick my roommate and I up and we'd walk over to the psych building. My roommate and I would usually watch the news while we got dressed and got ready, but for some reason, that day, we didn't. So we had no idea what Stacy was talking about when she told us that a plane hit the WTC. My first thought was, omg, my cousin works there. I pulled out his business card and tried to call him, but the line wouldn't connect - for reasons none of us knew at the time. We walked over to class - and like so many people feel the need to mention, it was an absolutely beautiful fall day that day. Warm, clear blue skies, the sun was shining on our picturesque Northeast campus an hour and a half from NYC, and it seemed like the ideal fall day. We entered the building where class was, and I don't remember who I got on the phone, but I either spoke to my dad or my cousin, who told me that they didn't know much, but they think it was a hijacked plane. Mind you, this hadn't hit the news yet, about the hijacking possibility. It was still unknown chaos at this point. But we knew my cousin was alive at this point, and he was going to be part of whoever was helping these people in the towers. I went to class, we watched tv for about 5 more minutes, and then my teacher turned off the tv and we had our full 2 hour class. It wasn't until after I got out of class that I was told the towers had fallen. I remember this dread washing over me and thinking, naaahhh....how could the towers fall? Impossible. Cousin Michael is there. But it was true. Again and again we watched the twin towers crumple like cardboard into the ground of Manhattan, taking thousands of lives and stories and hopes. It was like watching a movie with the neatest special effects but underlying horror. I kept trying to call my cousin, my grandmother, my parents - but since we were so close to the city, nobody's phone was working. The school had a room with lines that actually got out, and it was mobbed with students calling their families to see if everyone was okay (lots of people had family who lived in the city or worked there) and to assure their families we were fine. I spoke to my dad, who said no one had heard from my cousin since before the buildings fell. 

I went back to the sorority house and was able to call my mother, and I think the horror was finally sinking in - I just remember screaming, "Michael is at the WTC and no one has heard from him since this morning! He's there! I can't get a hold of him!" And her response - "Oh, shit." It was a very scary morning. The campus called everyone to the front lawn for a prayer service and to basically calm everybody down, and also to read a list of the alumni who were working in the towers - and there were a decent amount. 

I remember going to lunch with some of my sisters and barely being able to eat a bagel. Perrie was trying to call her family, who lived in Tribeca, and all of us were still in that hazy, half-shell-shocked daze of did what happen this morning REALLY happen? I finally got a phone call that my cousin was alive and fine, much to my relief. He had been pulling into an underground garage for work when the first plane hit, and he backed out, parked somewhere, and ran to work. He was part of the recovery mission and was at Ground Zero all day that day. He has pieces of the building. I still have a business card of his from the towers. 

My friend Alex and I drove to the nearest Red Cross and tried to donate blood - but we were turned away because they said there was no use for it.

For days, our tv was on almost all the time, with the endless ticker at the bottom of the screen, naming all the victims on the planes, all the families pleading for their loved ones who were "missing" to come home. 

2 years later, I stood on the steps of St. Vincent's hospital in Manhattan and looked at the original scores of Missing posters that were now under glass, attached to the building's wall. It was eerie, seeing these people's lives suspended in time but knowing the outcome. Down the block, on a wire fence, there were dozens and dozens of ceramic ornaments commemorating 9/11. Two years after the fact, the Village was still populated with the ghosts of Ground Zero. NY still is haunted. The images of the buildings still show up in pictures of the skyline, albeit in our mind's eye. When we think of NYC, the towers involuntarily come to mind. Old movies that have shots of the WTC in them bring us, for a second, back to a much different time. Going to Ground Zero in 2003, what struck me was that I was looking, essentially, at a huge graveyard. In the middle of a large, booming, vibrantly alive city, was a mass grave that we all still felt a need to look at. on 9/11/03, living in Manhattan, at the time the first plane hit, bells rang out around the city and everything stopped for one minute. And again at the time the second plane hit. It was a surreal moment. 

So seven years later, here we are. This morning, around 8:30, I was on the bus going to school, and it hit me that today was 9/11 and I looked at my watch, and for the millionth time, thought about what hundreds of lives must have been like in the calm before the storm. It seems like such a long time ago, but at the same time, like just yesterday. 

this is what my degree in women's studies taught me.

So.....where to begin.....I was working out at the gym  - yes, I joined a gym, and I actually GO - and I was watching CNN on one of the tvs while on the treadmill, and saw the whole story of how Sarah Palin is under fire for various parenting choices she's made, and people are upset that she's running even though her teenage daughter is pregnant and her son has Down Syndrome....though I am no a fan of Palin, and am definitely not voting for her, I find it interesting that she - the sole WOMAN now in the running - is the only one whose parenting choices and actions are being scrutinized. Did anyone question Bush's parenting choices about his twins?? What difference does it make if her child has special healthcare needs? And last time I checked, how many OTHER 16 year old girls are having sex? The difference is that Bristol Palin got caught. And how many parents can actually control their children's behavior, let alone sexual behavior? Do I find it gleefully ironic that an abstinence-only sex education, anti-choice politician has a knocked-up daughter? Of course. Do I think that the mom should be held responsible? No. And I think we all need to remember just how YOUNG Bristol is. She's 16 or 17. That is really young to be in the national spotlight, being torn apart and scrutinized. We need to leave her out of the media feeding frenzy. If Sarah Palin were a man, would her parenting skills and choices be called into question? I highly doubt it. It is sad that in the year 2008 I even have to blog about this. It's sad that women still don't earn the same as men, dollar-to-dollar. It's sad that women have to plan their careers with an eye toward childbearing and the "mommy track". We are damned if we do, damned if we don't. If we stay at home to raise children, we're "not REALLY working"; if we go back to work, we're "bad" mothers or "unnatural". If we hire a nanny, we're snobs, if we don't, we're martyrs. Enough is enough already. Let's stop tearing down other women to avoid getting ripped apart ourselves. Why don't we acknowledge that none of our choices are easy - but they're our choices, and should be respected as such. 

Added later, while watching Palin's speech at the RNC:

You know, she is a tough cookie. She really is a good speaker.....and she's proving she's smart and tough and, indeed, making another crack in that glass ceiling. I'm not a fan of hers as of right now, but I have to give her props. 

And doesn't she look like Tina Fey, from SNL? I half expect her to call up Amy Poehler on stage and do Weekend Update. Her hair is amazing. 

Why should you watch the DNC

So....I normally shy away from posting political stuff. I used to be quite a spitfire, never shying away from a good debate. And sometimes, I still get into the political scuffle with my dad and cousin, but at school, in class, I tend to shy away from it. I'm not here to change their opinions, I think we can agree to disagree on things. But I have to post about tonight's events at the DNC. Honestly, as I get older (and I shudder to admit this), I find myself leaning toward Republican ideals re:fiscal things, and things like malpractice. But damn, I love Hillary Clinton. I voted for her for President, and wish with all my heart that Obama had chosen her for VP. Years ago, I read her autobiography, Living History. And tonight, watching her speak, the hair on my arms stood on end. I got chills. She is one tough woman. And I mean that with the highest respect and admiration. 

To run for president - to simply be a woman in the man's world of politics - is stunning. It's admirable. Just thinking about speaking in front of millions of people like she has, terrifies me. And she has persevered, she has faced criticism from the press, from her peers, her opponents.....in a time when it is still somehow "acceptable" for even members of the press to call Hillary a "bitch", and for people to make disparaging remarks about her body to try and tear her down, she has stood tall and unapologetic. She is smart and sassy, ambitious, and tenacious. Little girls watching this election process see this, and that makes me proud. Running for President is so risky - the possibility of failure is so real - and she lost the nomination this time around, but she handled it with grace and dignity. She didn't shrink back in defeat - she stepped up to the plate and has truly proven herself to be an amazing individual. There is a strength in her that comes from a fighting spirit, and we can all learn from that. 

Plus, George Stephanopolous is hot. Even if he IS short. 

all this before I've had my coffee.....

Stealing Reg's theme of why she fears the federal government, I have to say, I was reading the NY Times online this morning, and this is why *I* fear our government.

There's also an amusing little article on therapy and email, which caught my eye, because there's always so much controversy about that in the psychotherapy world - do we give our email addresses to clients? All of them, including the borderline? Or just those we know won't abuse it and email us with suicidal emails at 4am? The last thing we need is an email threatening self-harm that you don't get until hours later, or an angry, lashing out email in lieu of a productive conversation.

I had a nice thing happen on my way to work - a man actually let me go in front of him when we got off the subway and we were all trying to get down the steps in the station. He was a big, hulking thing of a man, and I was going to let him go in front of me, but he waved me ahead. That was nice. So I thanked him - little things like that sort of renew my faith in people.

1 in 4

This post doesn't have anything to do with cancer, but it DOES have something MCH-related. The new issue of Glamour magazine, with Christina Aguilera on the cover, also has on the cover the article tagline: Where Rapists Walk Free (Yes, it's in America). Forgive me, but why is that supposed to be so shocking? I opened it up and found that the article was about the Yankton Sioux tribe, and how 1 in 3 Native American women will be raped in her lifetime. This is not so far from the statistic that 1 in 4 American women will be raped in her lifetime. This is not the only place in America where rapists walk free - take a look at our college campuses, the grad school classrooms, the professional sports leagues and any room you happen to be in. Rapists are everywhere, we just don't know who they are. Have we forgotten the Kobe Bryant trial, where rape-shield laws in place for years were broken left and right and no one - not even the feminist organizations - made a peep? Have we forgotten that 2/3 of rape victims know their attacker? The recidivism rates of those who rape are astonishing, and chances are, if an individual has sexually assaulted someone - a stranger, a friend, a date - once, they will do it again. 

This is from RAINN - the Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network. This is a wonderful organization that Tori Amos helped create, and they do amazing things. When I was a rape crisis counselor, many callers would tell us they received some form of help from RAINN. 

*on my soapbox*

I was debating posting about this, but these are actually politics I care about, and think this needs to be told.

Not even 10 minutes after I posted the entry below, about falafel, I read a sobering story in the NYTimes. In 2006 - actually, shortly after my trip to Israel - Israeli soldiers were captured by Hezbollah, a Lebanese militia/terrorist group. The Israeli cabinet voted on Sunday to trade a notorious convict, along with 4 other Lebanese, for these 2 soldiers, whom they initially believed to be alive. But unfortunately, Ehud Goldwasser and Eldad Regev, the 2 Israeli soldiers, are dead. So essentially, Israel is trading 5 Lebanese convicts for the bodies of 2 dead Israeli soldiers. Israel has a tradition of doing everything it can to get back its soldiers, but one of these convicts they are releasing.....Samir Kuntar - in 1979, he was part of a group that raided the Israeli town of Nahariya, killed a civilian while his 4 year old daughter watched, and then smashed her head and killed her, as well. Her mother and 2 year old sister were hiding, and to keep the 2 year old from crying, the mother accidently suffocated her. Kuntar says he regrets nothing, and when he returns to Lebanon, he will receive a hero's welcome. Israel will also give the UN info on Iranian diplomats who disappeared in Lebanon. Gilad Shalit, an Israeli soldier captured by Hamas 2 years ago, is still missing and his fate is unknown. 

You can read about this more here. 

Personally, I am shocked, saddened, and conflicted. I have a few thoughts on the UN, which I won't share here. I am sad for the families involved.