middle ground

Oh. My. G-d. I am exhausted. I babysat the twins today for 4.5 hours, and let me tell you - it is definitely a full-time job, as all kids are. But there's two of them. It's A LOT harder than I thought....and I wasn't expecting it to be easy. But when neither one is eating lunch and you're trying to calm a screaming baby and trying to feed the other one without getting food all over the place, it's hard. Then they smile at you with their big gummy smiles, so honest and innocent, and you fall in love with them all over again. 

Still trying to figure out some sort of time management/schoolwork routine and trying not to get too overwhelmed . I had a huge craving for Zabar's hamentashen today. And an H&H bagel. And, of course, Pinkberry. I miss feeling like I was living on the pulse of everything. It's a dynamic energy in the air in Manhattan that can be overstimulating and overwhelming, but also very exciting and satisfying. I'm trying to find that middle ground between NY and Chapel Hill again. I miss my work at MSKCC a lot, and often think of it. I miss that singular focus on oncology and everything that goes with it. I miss being in an environment where the passion for it is almost palpable. I miss feeling like my work is actually making a difference. This summer, I woke up every morning, excited to get on the subway and go downtown to work. I did work on the weekends and enjoyed it. I miss that. 

"Believe that your life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact." - William James, American psychologist and philosopher (thanks, K!)