I was talking with someone last night, and we had a wonderful discussion of religion and spiritual beliefs and G-d. He is Catholic, but actually doesn't believe in religion, or even G-d. And for some reason, this really, really bothered me. I can respect it, but I can't necessarily understand it. And I know that's okay, but it really made me wonder. For me, presonally, I cannot believe that we, as humans, are the end-all, be-all. When it comes down to it, I have to believe in something bigger than myself - some sort of Higher Power. Do I believe G-d is omnipotent? No. Bad things happen to good people, people we love get sick and die, terrible things happen to groups of people and cultures and countires.....but I have to believe there is something, anything, more. Especially in oncology. But it's even the little things - when I listen to my nephew on the phone, that is G-d. When I see him and hug him, there is no doubt in my mind that something bigger exists. Maybe I have been through too many rainy and grey days and come out the other side to not believe. And I'm not sure I could ever explain that to anyone the way I really want to.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
believing in something...
Despite having had more than nine years of private Jewish day school education, I don't necessarily consider myself an overly "religious" person. Do I have strong ties to my Judaism and return to it time and time again when questioning my religious beliefs? Yes. When push comes to shove, will I align myself with Israel and vow to return there one day - hopefully sooner rather than later? Yes. When things get difficult, are the prayers I recite to myself Jewish ones? Yes. But would I ever consider becoming Orthodox? Though I consider many Orthodox customs beautiful, it's not for me. Would I ever make aliyah to Israel? Right now, that answer is no. But as I've gotten older, I find my religion - maybe it's not even religion so much as beliefs - becoming a significant part of who I am and what I want in life.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
I went through this weird phase when I first got sick where I was like, honestly why would God do this to me?! But you are right bad things still happen to good people. I don't believe that everything happens for a reason. I think there is randomness to a lot of things. But I have literally said the same exact quote to my ex boyfriend. He declared to me that he no longer believes in God. And I sat there and all I said was, "well I have to believe there is something bigger than myself, or fighting this illness would be pointless" it bothers me he said that too...
The old saying goes "There are no atheists in a foxhole." Even though this was a WWII saying, it still holds true for today. We have to believe in some higher power in order to make it through illness, disease, age, broken hearts, and even everyday drudgery at times. Keep believing...as Stevie WOnder says "til I reach for Higher Grounds...."MM
Post a Comment