just another Saturday morning in the city.

I went to the Strand today for the first time since my aunt died. I only note this because the last time I was there was when I got the phone call that she was in the hospital, and to quote my dad, it was "the beginning of the end." I haven't been back since. Until today.
I know it's a tourist trap. I know it's somewhat kitchy. BUT. BUT. It is Heaven. 18 miles of books. Books from floor to ceiling, marked down in price, some as low as five dollars. Outside, books for $1, $2, and $3. In fact, I got a book I've been wanting for only $1 today. And the writing "seminar" tote for $4. My favorite is the downstairs, where they have the medical books, memoir, literary nonfiction and so forth. I like the tables on the main floor, and I admit, the tote bags are so so so so cute, touristy as they are. The collection of Moleskine notebooks, Anne Taintor wallets and magnets, and cute sarcastic change purses all tempted me. I could spend hours and hours here. In fact, if a guy asked me on a date to the Strand, I think I would ask him to marry me right then and there.
Yes, the employees can sometimes be too cool for school, but today they were fairly nice and helpful. And I don't know what all the reviewers are talking about - everytime I've been in Strand, it's never been uncomfortably busy. Maybe I just tend to go at off-peak times? I've rarely even had to wait in line.

Afterward, I went across the street to The Bean, a very cute coffee place with padded benches and pillows around the perimeter of the store so you can rest comfortably while working at a table. They have delicious looking gluten-free macarons and vegan treats. The baristas aren't obnoxious, and the clientele seems relatively normal and down to earth. The iced coffee with half&half was just what I needed on the walk through Union Square.

So it was a really nice Manhattan morning, I must say. A day where I was happy to be in the city. It's nice to know those days still exist for me. It reminded me of when I used to live in the city before, in 03-04, and would explore downtown 'hoods by myself on the weekends, not thinking twice about it.

In the afternoon I did some work for a new website I'm writing for. It's a NYC-centric website that posts news and reviews of neighborhood venues, area happenings, etc. I'm hoping to get more work done tomorrow on that. Finished up workshop reading and doing some writing of my own.....so I feel pretty productive today. I have been waking up the last two mornings, grinding my teeth, but hopefully that's just temporary, until I feel more settled in.

Also, September is National Ovarian Cancer Awareness Month. Familiarize yourself with the signs and symptoms of ovarian cancer, talk with your doctor about your risk for the disease, and listen to your body. This cancer is a relentless killer, and the majority of women are diagnosed at a late-stage, decreasing survival rates. So wear your teal ribbons, visit the website of Teal Toes, donate to OCRF or the gyn-onc department of MSKCC....something. Anything. Other cancers like breast cancer have done wonders with fundraising and research and political/medical change - this needs to be done for ovarian cancer now.

neverending writer's block.

It's almost mid-way through summer (actually, for me, more than midway), and I have to admit I have been suffering from the worst fucking case of writer's block. Aside from the medical writing for work, I have not really written anything new since classes ended. I wrote 6 pages of complete and utter shit. That's about it. When I go to Starbucks to "write," I pull out my Moleskine (yes, I am that cliche) and pen, write some sentences, scribble them out, chew on my pen cap, stare into space while listening to my iPod, write something more, then cross it out again. I end up closing my notebook and opening up a book instead. So I guess there's a slight upside to all this: I've been reading a lot. Faulkner still remains unfinished, as does Adrian's novel, aaaaand Cloud Atlas.....I admit, I've been reading a lot of YA. Sigh. I don't know. My concentration isn't as good as I'd like it to be right now.

And, ever since going back to gluten-free, pizza is like crack. Everyday, I'm tempted to go on PizzaHut.com and get a thin and crispy pizza with breadsticks. A few times, I've fallen off the wagon, and like any addict, felt sick and remorseful the day after, vowing never to do that again. But it's sooooo good. I actually imagine how the pizza will taste. And smell. It's a bit ridiculous.

Here's to hoping it gets better.

on the road again.

Well, I  moved out of the city last week and have been at my mom's in NJ. Spent lots of time with my family, including my cousins, who happened to be up from TX. That was nice. Tomorrow, bright and early, I will be hitting the road for Chapel Hill. I always dread the drive, but it's never as bad as I think it will be. It just gets tedious somewhere around Virginia. It feels like a big state. But I'll have caffeine and cd's, so all is well.

My freelance job is supposed to last through the end of July, and then the second phase starts. They said I'll be able to continue, which is good. So that's a relief. I can wear whatever I want to work and work on my own hours. Yay! I see lots of time in Starbucks and B&N in my future.

I've been exhausted to the core lately. Since going to NJ, I haven't been strictly gluten-free, and it's really thrown my body for a loop, I think. The difference in how I feel is big. Once I get down to NC I will be back on the gluten-free track.

One of the fiction MFAs and I might start a YA book club when we go back. There are really great YA books out there. I just read DIVERGENT, which was really well-thought out and has a very strong female protagonist. Sort of like Katniss from the Hunger Games, but more raw.

Anyway....should get back to work. I'm behind on stuff today, since my mom and I went last-minute shopping for K-cups. (And a new pink ribbon Tervis tumbler, which will hold my endless cups of coffee I will be consuming).

update.

So. There are only about 3 weeks left of my first year in art school. Wow. What a year it has been. Do I still miss NC? Yup, every day, without fail. NYC drives me insane and many days I have to force myself to leave my apartment, just because I don't want to deal with the city. And it is draining me of money. But the program has been wonderful, and I am so glad I decided to come. I have made great friends, learned from super smart professors, and learned more about myself than I thought I would. I'm exhausted and drained and stressed, but I am loving what I am learning and doing.

Speaking of being exhausted and drained and stressed.....for the past 4 days I have been gluten-free. For weeks now I've had serious GI issues, been uber-exhausted, had headaches and generally just been blah. But I've been exhausted for a while, and finally I was sick of running to the bathroom (sorry for TMI), and I decided to try being gluten-free. My dad was diagnosed with Celiac disease about 2 years ago, and gluten-intolerance can be hereditary. So here I am. I have been daydreaming about huge bowls of pasta and cheesy, thick-crusted pizza. This morning at Magnolia Bakery I was so tempted, and when I asked if they had any gluten free stuff, at first I was told they did not. I must have looked incredibly forlorn, because about 5 minutes later, a baker came out to the table I was at and said they were making some flourless cakes, if I was going to be there for a while. Yay! That was a moment for me, though - even though those cupcakes were calling my name - loudly - I wasn't going to break the gluten-free diet. That made me feel good, knowing that I was committed to helping me feel better. I do feel like my body is going through some sort of detox, though. I've been eating lots of fruit, much of the Indian food I have is gluten free, so the Vegetable Korma, Kerala Veggies and Tandoori Rice are all okay. I picked up gluten-free pasta and corn chips and popcorn. It's going to be difficult at first.

Anyway.....that's about it. These last few weeks are going to be busy with school, trying to find a subletter for my apt for the summer, and figuring out my summer plans. sigh.