This is my dad and I, outside of Madison Square Garden. And me, holding my ice cream.
In lighter topics, I also got the cutest dress at Urban Outfitters - very Marc Jacobs, but actually affordable. I rationalized it by making sure I can wear it to work. It's for school, so to speak. (Mom, Stacey and Clinton would LOVE it!). And I had dinner in the city with my dad and his girlfriend. I am exhausted. So exhausted that we tried to go to Pinkberry for dessert, and I was so tired that I totally made wrong turns and wound up walking us in a big circle in midtown. Good times. So I got some ice cream from a Mister Softee truck instead.
Anyway.....so....I promised someone I'd write about this, and here it is. In 2006, after I got my MS in health psych, I was supposed to start school in NY in the fall, for psychology again. I was at a friend's house, whom I interned at the hospital with, and she said to me, "Jaime, why are you doing psychology? You're heart isn't in it, your heart is in medicine. You're doing this half-assed, and that's not you." I told her it was too late to change my mind, I'd already paid the deposit for school, I was supposed to leave in a few weeks.....but she was adamant that it wasn't the path I was supposed to take. But it got me thinking, and I realized Elisabeth was right. I loved being at the hospital, I loved oncology, I devoured books on medicine and cancer and women's health, I loved my job at the doctor's office - what was I doing? So 2 or 3 weeks before I was supposed to move, I called the school and withdrew. I decided to stay in NJ, work full time at the doctor's office, and figure out whether I really wanted to do a post-bac premed program or not. I was terrified - for the first time in my life, I had no plan. In some ways, it was a huge relief - I knew, for the most part, my family was not too pleased, but my decision freed me in a way - I had no one's expectations to live up to but my own now. I think I surprised everyone by staying in NJ, even myself. I'd been trying to convince myself for so long that psych was my thing. And don't get me wrong, I do love it - but in a different way....in a more applied, medical way now, I guess. But I do still love my Freud and Jung and Rogers and attachment theory! But it was also very scary - I had some big decisions to make, and quite honestly, in some ways, it felt like a failure. It took a long time to realize it wasn't; that it was probably one of the bravest decisions I've ever made.
Anyway, I wanted to babysit as well as work at the doctor's office - I'd always babysat, I loved kids, I'm good at it - why not? So I put an ad on craigslist, and got an email back a few days later. This email said they were looking for a (preferably) full-time, live-in nanny for their 2 small boys, etc etc, and when the father signed his name, Michael, I realized that this was actually the husband of one of the ob/gyns I worked for - but he had NO idea that I worked for his wife Jonel. Out of the thousands of emails on the Web, somehow, the paths crossed. So I emailed him, saying that I think I work for his wife, actually. Long story short, we decided to try it part-time, until they got a nanny. So 2 days out of the week, after work, I'd go to their house and play, make dinner, help with homework, take them to karate, do laundry, etc. It was funny, because although I'd worked on and off for the office for 5 years at that point, I didn't really know Jonel very well, and was really nervous. And sometimes, on weekends, I'd babysit if they went out, etc. I loved it. Mondays I'd help Michael with dinner, then maybe go play a few games of Memory - the kids were adorable, and I really enjoyed their company. There were so many funny incidents that make me laugh just thinking about it. (I'm sure they remember the time B asked me if I "had a 'gina"). Slowly, we got into a routine, and it was nice. Wednesdays, Jonel was on call, and if it (by some miracle) wasn't busy at the hospital, she'd be home, and we'd make dinner or make the bed, and talk about medicine and school. It was actually after a conversation with her that I realized I wanted to go into public health, not medicine. The weeks and months went by, and since there was no full-time nanny yet, I continued to babysit. They were (are) so great - when my car needed to be fixed and I was going to rent a car, they lent me the nanny's car; when I stayed at their house and watched the kids for a few days while they were away and my Jeep was slowly dying, they insisted I use either of their cars, even when not driving the boys around. Jonel always tried to make sure I had some fruit or veggies (esp blueberries, for the antioxidants) with dinner, and Michael knew I loved the veggie lasagna - or as B called it, "pasagna". Michael and the boys and I would talk about college football (Miami and Penn State), politics (well, not the boys so much), current events, everything - even Michael and Jonel trying to hook me up with the boys' karate teacher, lol! It was easy and relaxed and I loved being a part of it. Eventually, after my nephew was born, and after I decided on Carolina, they did find a full-time nanny, and though it made me really really sad, I knew that that would happen eventually.
It was weird to all of a sudden go home on Mondays and Wednesdays and not hear, "Jaime, jaime! Look at what I made in school!" (C), or "Jaime, can I ask you something? Do you have kids?" (B). It was odd not bantering about politics with Michael or talking and cooking with Jonel. It was even weird not seeing Lizzie, the cat. I'd gotten so used to all of it that its absence was noticeable. When I saw them again after being in Carolina, it was like nothing had changed, and I realized that some people are like that - if you're lucky enough, these people will be in your life in some way, for a while, and make it that much richer. To this day, whenever I see Carnation Instant Breakfast, I smile, and whenever I see a Penn State sticker on a car, it reminds me of them. Somehow, that year in NJ turned out to be really good, and I gained 4 wonderful people in my life because of it.
Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends leave footprints on your heart. - Eleanor Roosevelt
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