Jenny McCarthy, MD?

So.....I think this entry is venturing into controversial territory, but I'm writing it anyway. Has anyone seen the Jenny McCarthy interview where she says that vaccines are hurting our children and causing autism? Oh yeah, and she says her son is "recovered" from autism. News flash, Jenny: Find my a reputable psychologist who says someone is "recovered" from autism, and I'll show you Santa Claus. She talks about biomedical science and parents taking their children's health into their own hands, and this strikes me as incredibly dangerous and irresponsible. She is not a doctor, her background is not in biology or chemistry or science - the CDC, AAP, NIH, have all stood by the fact that vaccines do not cause autism. In fact, it is much more likely that the vaccine schedule that children are on coincides with developmental trajectories that relate to autism spectrum disorders. Jenny McCarthy's rage in this interview is well-controlled (to a point), but you can plainly see it and hear it. I don't know. When asked about putting kids in jeopardy by not vaccinating, she mentions that any parent with a child living with autism would rather have their child have the flu - well, what about polio? hmmm, Jenny? We have come this far because of medical science. It may seem like autism is on the rise, but more likely, it's merely the diagnoses that are more accurate. It's even been said that Albert Einstein most likely had a form of Asperger's. 

It's like the crazysexycancer thing - when you have an emotionally and possibly physically vulnerable population who desperately want an explanation or a cure, you have to be very careful of claims and easy fixes. Sometimes people want something so badly that they'll convince themselves it exists. 

next year in Jerusalem

An Israeli soldier at the Western Wall.

Tomorrow night starts Rosh Hashanah, or the Jewish New Year. Although not one of my favorite holidays, I like it for its significance and all that it brings to my mind. I love dipping apples into honey (to symbolize a "sweet" New Year), and it's customary to say "Next year in Jerusalem!", meaning, hopefully, you'll be in Israel next year. I remember my first Rosh Hashanah after my Israel trip, never before had those words meant so much to me. I desperately wanted to go back - and still do. It's beautiful there, and in a multitude of ways, is home. 

I was just browsing iTunes for "Jewish songs" and was surprised at how many songs brought a smile to my face because of memories I have from day school - doing Israeli dancing in a circle, leading Passover seder practices, favorite Shabbat songs - songs I took for granted when I was in day school because I sang them weekly, if not every day during morning services. And after not hearing them for so long, they sounded so welcoming and familiar. 

weekend update

I just read that Paul Newman died yesterday from cancer. Depending on what article you read, the type of cancer is either unnamed, or described as lung cancer. Many people know Newman as the actor, but he also had an organic food line, Newman's Own, which gave all its profits to charity. It has been estimated that Newman's Own has given $200 million to charity, including a camp for terminally ill children. Dealing with cancer is hard for any family, and even if you know death is imminent, it's still a sort of stunned shock when it actually happens. 

I have to admit, I fell prey to the pinkwashing of October today (and it's not even October yet). I was at OfficeMax and I caved and got pink file folders (I needed folders anyway), which helped support the Breast Cancer Research Foundation. And if I'm being honest here, I will also admit that I bought a breast cancer shirt by Under Armour at Dick's Sporting Goods. *sigh*. But I draw the line at buying ANYTHING that supports Komen.  

finally, autumn.

Today it felt like fall in North Carolina. Supposedly, the high was only 61 degrees, which sent many people here running for their winter clothes. Seriously, on the bus this morning, I overheard someone saying she wanted to put on leggings and wool socks. Seriously? Not that cold, people. I can't believe September is almost over, though. 

Speaking of NC, I was in the food store today and decided to buy some Diet Cheerwine. Now, Cheerwine is neither cheerful nor wine. Discuss. It's a Carolina thing, apparently, and it's soda. It sort of tastes like cough syrup but not as sickeningly sweet, and more cherry-ish. I can see how it can become addicting. Does this make me a "real" Carolinian now? 

I got my new issue of New York magazine in the mail today, and there's an article on what you'd get if you traded in your NY life - what the same amount of money could get you somewhere else. But really, why would you want to leave NY if you could really live there? I miss it a lot recently. Of course, I am craving Pinkberry. And H&H bagels. *sigh*. 

For my Patient Advocacy class, we have to interview a patient or a caregiver, give a presentation on the interview, and write a paper. What do you do when your knowledge of the disease threatens to crowd out hope? What do you do when your worst fears are confirmed? How do you find those tiny seeds of faith and hope, and plant them so they grow and cover all the fear and doubt? Like I've said before, we go into oncology, maybe intrinsically, because of hope - you can't NOT have hope and go into oncology - but how do we hold onto that? Is there even any other option?

Listening: Eisley, Saving Jane, The Veronicas

enough pink

With October right around the corner, I'm getting sick of pink already. October is Breast Cancer Awareness month, and I'm sure we all see "pinkwashing" going on. Pink M&Ms, pink tweezers, pink Britta filters, etc, with some proceeds being donated to some breast cancer charity. But really, how much is really given? And are these products contributing to breast cancer risk themselves? 

Breast Cancer Action is an organization that bills itself as the "bad girls of breast cancer". They have a wonderful, wonderful campaign entitled "think before you pink".

pink ribbons, inc

I have a bone to pick with Christina Applegate. She's made some comments that I find really, really misleading, and are certainly not true. She told "Good Morning America" that "I'm clear. Absolutely 100 percent clear and clean....It did not spread - they got everything out, so I'm definitely not going to die from breast cancer." News flash, Christina - unfortunately, you might. I think this was sort of irresponsible of her to say.....I don't know, maybe it's my own Issues with this, but I really, really hated her comments. 

With October (Breast Cancer Awareness Month), no doubt we will get lots of news interviews like this, lots of magazine covers, and have pink shoved down our throats for 31 days. Can't wait.

Oh, and FYI, September is Childhood Cancer Awareness Month and Gynecologic Cancer Awareness Month.  

palintology

So, somehow, I guess this blog lately has been a little political.....and this entry will be, as well. To be honest, I'm not sure who I will vote for this year. My pro-choice views are extremely strong, which leans me toward Obama, but his campaign annoys the hell out of me, and I find him smug and naive. Fiscally, I am more Republican, I guess - and on the death penalty view, I am Republican, as well. I was reading cnn.com and stumbled upon an article written by Glenn Beck about Sarah Palin, basically just refuting various claims that have been made against her. Initially, I too thought she was anti-contraception - but here is what she has said: "I'm pro-contraception, and I think kids who may not hear about it at home should hear about it in other avenues. So I am not anti-contraception. But yeah, abstinence is another alternative that should be discussed wtih kids. I don't have a problem with that." As I get older, I find myself being more agreeable to this - I think kids today are growing up incredibly fast, and sex is seen as something that's not a big deal, which is sad. Girls - young girls - are dressing sexy, wearing makeup at 11, and are bombarded with sexual images 24/7, and so I think this is a refreshing break. And she tripled funding for special needs children in Alaska from $26,900 to $73, 840. 

Anyway, just things to think about. I'm not too fond of either camp right now. 

seven years later.......

In the mail today I got my New Yorker, New York Magazine, Bergdorf Goodman magazine, and a Bergdorf Goodman catalog. It was a very New York-centric mail day, to say the least. Funny it should happen to be September 11. Today is one of those days my generation invokes like our parents do the assassination of JFK. Or how many of us Gen Xers invoke the day the Challenger blew up. Seven years ago today I was wearing a white tank top and blue Abercrombie sweatpants, with my pink Air Max Tailwind sneakers. I had a morning class, and our fellow sorority sister Stacy would come by the house and pick my roommate and I up and we'd walk over to the psych building. My roommate and I would usually watch the news while we got dressed and got ready, but for some reason, that day, we didn't. So we had no idea what Stacy was talking about when she told us that a plane hit the WTC. My first thought was, omg, my cousin works there. I pulled out his business card and tried to call him, but the line wouldn't connect - for reasons none of us knew at the time. We walked over to class - and like so many people feel the need to mention, it was an absolutely beautiful fall day that day. Warm, clear blue skies, the sun was shining on our picturesque Northeast campus an hour and a half from NYC, and it seemed like the ideal fall day. We entered the building where class was, and I don't remember who I got on the phone, but I either spoke to my dad or my cousin, who told me that they didn't know much, but they think it was a hijacked plane. Mind you, this hadn't hit the news yet, about the hijacking possibility. It was still unknown chaos at this point. But we knew my cousin was alive at this point, and he was going to be part of whoever was helping these people in the towers. I went to class, we watched tv for about 5 more minutes, and then my teacher turned off the tv and we had our full 2 hour class. It wasn't until after I got out of class that I was told the towers had fallen. I remember this dread washing over me and thinking, naaahhh....how could the towers fall? Impossible. Cousin Michael is there. But it was true. Again and again we watched the twin towers crumple like cardboard into the ground of Manhattan, taking thousands of lives and stories and hopes. It was like watching a movie with the neatest special effects but underlying horror. I kept trying to call my cousin, my grandmother, my parents - but since we were so close to the city, nobody's phone was working. The school had a room with lines that actually got out, and it was mobbed with students calling their families to see if everyone was okay (lots of people had family who lived in the city or worked there) and to assure their families we were fine. I spoke to my dad, who said no one had heard from my cousin since before the buildings fell. 

I went back to the sorority house and was able to call my mother, and I think the horror was finally sinking in - I just remember screaming, "Michael is at the WTC and no one has heard from him since this morning! He's there! I can't get a hold of him!" And her response - "Oh, shit." It was a very scary morning. The campus called everyone to the front lawn for a prayer service and to basically calm everybody down, and also to read a list of the alumni who were working in the towers - and there were a decent amount. 

I remember going to lunch with some of my sisters and barely being able to eat a bagel. Perrie was trying to call her family, who lived in Tribeca, and all of us were still in that hazy, half-shell-shocked daze of did what happen this morning REALLY happen? I finally got a phone call that my cousin was alive and fine, much to my relief. He had been pulling into an underground garage for work when the first plane hit, and he backed out, parked somewhere, and ran to work. He was part of the recovery mission and was at Ground Zero all day that day. He has pieces of the building. I still have a business card of his from the towers. 

My friend Alex and I drove to the nearest Red Cross and tried to donate blood - but we were turned away because they said there was no use for it.

For days, our tv was on almost all the time, with the endless ticker at the bottom of the screen, naming all the victims on the planes, all the families pleading for their loved ones who were "missing" to come home. 

2 years later, I stood on the steps of St. Vincent's hospital in Manhattan and looked at the original scores of Missing posters that were now under glass, attached to the building's wall. It was eerie, seeing these people's lives suspended in time but knowing the outcome. Down the block, on a wire fence, there were dozens and dozens of ceramic ornaments commemorating 9/11. Two years after the fact, the Village was still populated with the ghosts of Ground Zero. NY still is haunted. The images of the buildings still show up in pictures of the skyline, albeit in our mind's eye. When we think of NYC, the towers involuntarily come to mind. Old movies that have shots of the WTC in them bring us, for a second, back to a much different time. Going to Ground Zero in 2003, what struck me was that I was looking, essentially, at a huge graveyard. In the middle of a large, booming, vibrantly alive city, was a mass grave that we all still felt a need to look at. on 9/11/03, living in Manhattan, at the time the first plane hit, bells rang out around the city and everything stopped for one minute. And again at the time the second plane hit. It was a surreal moment. 

So seven years later, here we are. This morning, around 8:30, I was on the bus going to school, and it hit me that today was 9/11 and I looked at my watch, and for the millionth time, thought about what hundreds of lives must have been like in the calm before the storm. It seems like such a long time ago, but at the same time, like just yesterday. 

fighting cancer....and losing

Okay, what could possibly prompt me to post a second time within an hour? The new issue of Newsweek, that's what. It's the one with Sarah Palin on the cover (although what magazine DOESN'T have Palin on the cover this week? you go, girl). But it also has an article entitled We Fought Cancer......And Cancer Won inside. And as I read that, something akin to relief flooded my veins. Because I thought, finally - an honest article that isn't sugarcoated and whitewashed and falsely optimistic. There is a quote in the article by Boston oncologist and cancer survivor Therese Mulvey - "The metaphor of fighting cancer implies the possibility of winning. But some people are just not going to be cured. We've made tremendous strides against some cancers, but on others we're stuck, and even our successes buy some people only a little more time before they die of cancer anyway......With cancer, sometimes death is not optional." And though some might call her pessimistic, I agree with her that the stories of how breast cancer rates have fallen and colonoscopy and fecal occult blood testing have reduced colon cancer allow a false sense of optimism or safety to occur. Cancer still will kill 565, 650 people in the United States this year. That's more than 1,500 people a day. When you read stuff like that, we're still nowhere where we need to be. But, like Otis Brawley of the ACS has said, "One tumor is smarter than 100 brilliant cancer scientists." Harold Varmus, the president of MSKCC, has even said that cancer "...is commonly viewed, as, at best, minimally controlled by modern medicine, especially when compared with other major diseases." Progress among cancers is uneven, and mortality rates vary widely. The old thinking that 5 years of remission means cure is just not true. Breast cancer is known to recur 10, 15, 20 years later. Childhood cancer treatments can cause later malignancies. Micrometastases can show up years later. 

This is what we fight every day. When I dwell on it, the task to figure anything out seems insurmountable. It's kind of depressing. But then I think about my summer at MSKCC, and how NO ONE seemed beaten down or discouraged there. The brainpower and the passion there were invigorating. And it reminds me that this is my goal, this is my chosen field. I can do this. We can do this. 

The only thing that annoys me in the magazine is that Stand Up 2 Cancer has taken out ads on like, every other page practically. In the middle of the article is a 5-6 page advertisement for it. I'm sick of hearing about this. Yeah, it's great, you're raising money, thanks. But I just find it overproduced and glossy and -- dare I say -- misguided. At this point, it's NOT ABOUT THE CURE. It's about survival, and living with cancer. This is a much more realistic way of looking at it. By focusing on cure I feel like you're leaving out a huge chunk of the population. 

Anyway, I'll step down off my soapbox now. 

no such thing as a bad day

It's pouring rain outside and I just woke up, because of a fortuitously canceled research team meeting. It's a good day to stay in bed under the covers. Unfortunately, as a graduate student, I don't really have that option today. And considering I stayed in bed until 11:30, that's way more than enough. I do like the sound of rain, though. 

Today is the 4 year cancer anniversary of someone important in my life, and I just wanted to acknowledge that, because she is doing wonderfully today, and I feel like we need more attention paid to these stories. It's also important to me because it was her breast cancer that propelled me back into studying oncology and, though no one could have imagined at the time, given my life its ultimate focus and goal. When I look back, I was terrified at the time, but eventually that fear gave way to action and learning, which fed into becoming an advocate and activist in the cancer community. 

I was reading the NY Times this morning online and looking back in the archives, and there is a book by Hamilton Jordan, Jimmy Carter's former Chief of Staff, who struggled with four different types of cancer. He wrote a book, "No Such Thing as a Bad Day", and in it, he had "Top 10 Tips for Cancer Patients". I'd like to write them here.

#1: Be an active partner in the medical decisions that are made about your life.

#2: Seek and know the truth about your illness, and prognosis.

#3: Get a second opinion. 

#4: Determine upfront how broad or narrow your physician's experience is. 

#5: If you have a poor prognosis, or rare form of cancer, try to get to a center of excellence. 

#6: Do not allow your caregivers to project their values, goals, and expectations onto you.

#7: Understand the economics of cancer care. 

#8: Ultimately, find a doctor that you trust and believe in. 

#9: Treat your mind as well as your body.

#10: Your attitude and beliefs are your most powerful weapon against cancer.