the move to NY.

Well. I am in NY, awaiting the arrival of Hurricane Irene. What a metaphor for my life lately and my journey to get here, huh? Up until the night before I came here, I honestly wasn't sure I'd come. The sheer cost started to seem wasteful, even though I have a sizeable fellowship, for which I am very thankful. And, I guess I am more of a Southerner than I thought - every fiber of my body resisted coming here. I'm still not loving the city. Not at all. The noise, the crowds, the attitude - nothankyou. Oh, and did I mention that 2 small bags of groceries - cereal, bread, peanut butter, soda, granola bars, pasta, sauce, etc, cost 64 dollars? What. the. hell. At any rate, I'm here for the forseable time being. Orientation is next week, and classes start the 6th. I didn't get the workshop I wanted, nor did I get the one class I really, really wanted.....but the classes and workshop I did get are fine. My apartment....it's school-owned, so it's bigger than anything I could have gotten for the same amount of money. It's a 4 bedroom apt for two of us; one of the bedrooms is a study room. We also have a living space and a decent sized kitchen. Hardwood floors, pre-war building. My room is tiny. Very tiny. And we have no air conditioning, so I am DYING. It's okay overall. It's a block over from where I used to live here, and the next block over has a very cool indie bookstore called BookCulture, which was Labyrinth Books when I lived here last.

Honestly, I am missing Carolina so much it hurts. Physically hurts - every time I let myself think about it and *feel* about it, it feels like my chest is caving in on itself and the tears come, hot and fast. I miss my coworkers, I miss my friends who are still there, I miss work, I miss Chapel Hill and Franklin St, I miss Southern Village, I miss my running buddies....I built a life there, I became attached to a place and put down roots. I'm seeing this as very temporary, my stay in NY. It is 2 years of my life. And then I can go back.