locker room musings

So, as I've blogged about before, I decided to sign up for a super-sprint-triathlon in October, the Ramblin' Rose triathlon series, in Chapel Hill. My friend Carey, who founded Teal Toes, an ovarian cancer awareness organization, had mentioned it to me multiple times before I finally decided to sign up. I've never done anything like this before. It's a 250-yard swim, 9-mile bike ride, and 2 mile run.

Now, I've played tennis and rugby, but honestly, I've never been a runner. Running was like punishment for me. But since the end of January, I've gone from someone who couldn't even run a half mile to someone who can run 2 miles without stopping. For me, that is an incredible accomplishment, and one I am proud of. I've grown to love running, and grown to really crave the stress-reduction a daily run can give me. Like the Nike t-shirt says, "Running never takes more than it gives back." I may dread stepping on the treadmill to begin my run, but by the end of it, I feel refreshed and spent and healthy -- and I never regret my run. I've been biking recently at the gym, which I definitely need to keep working on, and the swimming part....well, swimming has always come easy to me; I did Lifeguard Training in undergrad, so I know I can do the 10 laps. But I'll probably swim a lot during recovery from my upcoming foot surgery.

Anyway, I've been training for this tri, and have really gotten addicted to the sport, though I have yet to finish my first one. I love the idea of pushing yourself to do something you never thought you could do -- and something that most people who know you never thought you could do, either. I love pushing yourself until you hit the wall, and learning just what you're made of. But somewhere along the way, in the short month and a half I've been starting my training, something else happened that, for me, is worth more than I could ever imagine.

Every woman my age has body issues, in some form or another. In college, my sorority sisters and I would hollow out our bagels and put salt on them, because it "tasted like butter" without the calories. The media bombards us with images of what women are "supposed" to look like, and praises thinness above health. Ask any young woman, and I'll bet you anything she's had some body image issues or eating issues -- even if it's just feeling guilty about eating that second or third slice of pizza. But since I've started training, I've come to see food as fuel. If I don't feed my body, if I don't eat well, I don't run well. If I don't eat protein and carbs, I don't have the energy for my workouts and feel pretty crappy. I've started to build my diet around whole grains, nuts, fruits, protein...and I've never felt better. I eat when I'm hungry, stop when I'm full, and realize that I eat more now, because I'm much, much more active than I was before. I have come to appreciate my body for what it can do, rather than what size jeans I fit into. Running 2 miles has brought me more self-satisfaction and pride than any number on a scale could ever bring. I have visible leg muscles and feel strong, which is something every woman should experience. I am starting to feel like the athlete I used to be, which is a wonderful feeling. And though I'm having foot surgery at the end of March, I have no doubt that I will still finish the triathlon running.

But in addition to all that, I think it's been a huge change mentally for me as well....making the committment to this tri and starting the training for it has taught me about perseverance, determination, self-confidence and sheer guts. It's taught me about myself, how much I can handle, and what I can do if I put my mind to it and put in the time to work at it. And if this is what I've gained from just the first month and a half, I can't wait to see what the next 6 months brings.

"When anyone tells me I can't do anything....I'm just not listening anymore." - Florence Griffith-Joyner