So it's official, I am Jaime, MS, MPH. 3 more letters after my name. But I just haven't been able to muster up the excitement everyone expects me to feel about this. In many ways, I could care less. Even though I definitely worked my ass off for the past 2 years, I don't feel satisfied. I got an H (high pass) on my Master's Paper, which was great, but at the same time, it leaves me wondering, then why the hell did I get a less-than-stellar rec letter, if my research skills are clearly great? Anyway.
Now I have a phone interview this week with Memorial Sloan-Kettering, an interview here at UNC, in Physical Medicine and Rehabilitation, and I plan on applying for a Student Wellness Coordinator position at the University of San Diego. I don't want to live in Cali, but the interview would be great experience. And who knows, maybe the salary would be pleasantly surprising. I'm running on very high energy right now, mainly fueled by anxiety about money, rent, job, etc. And my nephew.
It's obvious I adore my nephew. I love him as if he were my own. I never knew it was possible to love this much. And every time I think my heart is at capacity, he manages to stretch it a little more. But something is wrong. And even as I write that, I hate those words, because nothing is wrong with Trey. He is wonderful. He is perfect to me. But he isn't talking. He is 25 months old and if he has 10 poorly articulated words, that is a lot. At this age, kids are supposed to have 50 - 70 words, and are supposed to be putting 2 word phrases together. He is not. He needs to be prodded to speak. His receptive language is wonderful -- he understands absolutely everything you say, and doesn't miss a thing. He is outgoing and social, and physically demonstrative with affection. It's just his expressive language is a bit underdeveloped and/or delayed. As someone who (thankfully) has never had to struggle with learning or anything like that, this breaks my heart. It breaks my heart because I don't want anything - anything - to be difficult for my baby nephew. (Yes, at 2, he is still my baby nephew). I don't want him to have to struggle with anything at such a young age. He is such a kind, happy little boy, with a heart so big I don't know how anything else manages to fit in his tiny body. I know boys tend to mature and develop slower than girls, and this isn't THAT uncommon. But I can't help but worry about him, and I wish I could make everything okay. He will be okay, this I know - I just want to make things easier for him.
1 comment:
No one can make life easier for anyone....we try as parents and concerned aunts, but what will be will be. He will talk in time- he just doesn't have anything profound to say yet. Like his aunt, he will probably talk in full sentences soon and will be impossible to keep quiet. Be patient. MM
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