confessions.

sometimes, I eat peanut butter right out of the jar. i drink way too much caffeine. i obsess over the pottery barn kids catalog, planning future nurseries for my kids as i read. i love catalogs. every morning, as i eat my breakfast, i read nytimes.com. i want to go to medical school but am terrified i would never get in. i also want to be a writer, and sometimes i don't see how these mix. i like to eat Cool Whip by the spoonful. i'm very picky about my starbucks drinks and will send it back if it's not skim or if it has whipped cream. sometimes i think i'm too serious. i sometimes wonder what the hell i'm doing with my life. i miss the boys i used to babysit for. a lot. i love my nephew so much it physically hurts - this is that primal, instinctual love that i think parents have. i obsess about bugaboo strollers. i don't like that i'm getting older and getting wrinkles. i have angel wings tattooed on my back and though they will probably show in whatever dress i wear for my wedding, i don't care because i love them so much. i put my M&Ms in the refrigerator before i eat them. i voted Republican (for the first time ever) in this election for the presidency but then voted straight Democrat for everything else. i miss playing rugby. i like when i have laryngitis and have a hoarse voice, because then my voice doesn't sound so prissy and like i'm 10 years old. i could finish off a large pizza by myself. no lie. i used to be able to run 2 - 3 miles at a time in college. i wish i could do that again. i hate mixing nike and adidas - like if i'm wearing a nike shirt, i have to wear nike shoes. no mixing. i probably straighten my hair too much, although i'm working on that. if i got into the PhD programs at UNC, Yale, and Columbia, I honestly don't know which one i would choose right now. people tend to tell me i'm an overachiever, but i mostly feel like a big slacker and like everyone is doing more than me. libraries and bookstores are some of my most favorite places. i miss Manhattan more than i probably should. i also love Chapel Hill, though, which is confusing. i seriously adore the robins' egg blue Tiffany boxes. i miss my job at MSKCC nearly every day, and i wasn't even getting paid for it. even if they all taste the same, if given a choice, i will choose the cupcake with the pink frosting.