Warm Whispers and Precious Things

I'm lying on my bed, trying to finish "A Tree Grows in Brooklyn," because I've somehow managed to evade it all through my English classes. I love it; I'm almost at the end but it's one of those books that you don't want to end, you want to stay with the characters a little longer.
I'm listening to a playlist on Spotify, and what should come on is Missy Higgins's "Warm Whispers." I love this song. I found it while at UNC and I can't tell you how many times I sat at my desk, trying to figure out biostatistics while listening to music that kept my spirit intact. The song reminds me of my running group, who, to this day, I think about often - the runs on the concrete, the trail runs, the sprints, everything. How veneers slowly came off as we sweated and pushed out bodies to keep going.
The next song is "Precious Things," one of my very favorite Tori Amos songs (but let's be real, I kind of like all of them). I love the angry pounding of the piano, the righteous anger in the song. There is a force to that song.

Music has always been a part of my life. It's been there when I felt hopeless and my family was turned upside down. It was there when, in high school, I listened to Sarah McLachlan's "Angel" at Lilith Fair, and decided I wanted to live, and made up my mind to agree to try antidepressants. It's been there during frat parties where we drank semi-warm beer from cups and thought that these were the days we'll remember, these are the days  - singing "Livin' on a Prayer," "Glory Days," and so forth. I can't help but smile when I hear those songs. Study sessions with Manda, with Ani DiFranco or Sarah McLachlan in the background. "Build Me up Buttercup" was our unofficial sorority song. Norah Jones got me through the move to Florida and the confusion I felt that I made the wrong choice. Guster was a big deal in college. Phish - man, I saw them in concerts a lot. Now those are great memories.

lately, this is my life soundtrack:
"Dirty Love" by Ke$ha
versions of "Hallelujah"
"Hot Topic" by Le Tigre
"Napoleon" by Ani DiFranco
"Carolina in my Mind" by James Taylor
"Skinny love" by Birdy
"Come Alive" by Jes Hudak
"Let it Be" by the Beatles

What are the songs that define us? Or add color to the mosaic that is yourself? What songs do we turn to in moments of sadness, or joy, or anger? How does our personal soundtrack change over time? Interesting thought.
Here's Missy Higgins, with "Warm Whispers." The video is just a picture with the song going - all the live videos I saw weren't that great.

take these broken wings and learn to fly.

I just heard the song "Blackbird" by the Beatles for the first time today, and it sent a shiver down my spine. It is such a simple, beautiful song.

"Blackbird singing in the dead of night,

Take these broken wings and learn to fly.

All your life

You were only waiting for this moment to arise...."

How many of us patch up our wings and fly to our next destination? Some people never mend their wings and get stuck, and miss out on life. Others force their wings to heal too fast and end up reinjured and hurt. And yet others go slowly and let themselves be helped and cared for, and eventually fly off on the rest of their journey.

I like to think that I am one of those who flies on with my journey.

it reminds me of....

I love when something seemingly innocuous brings me back to another time or place or event. Don't you? Like I was washing my face with J&J Clean and Clear, and for some reason, it smells a lot like Noxema, and that fresh creamy scent brought me right back to theater camp in middle school, and washing my face with it to remove stage makeup after a show; when the biggest things on our minds was getting a speaking part and nailing our dance routines. My very favorite shirt in the entire world is a Ralph Lauren Polo Sport navy blue and pink striped rugby shirt. I got it in 2002, when I lived in Ft Lauderdale, from the Sawgrass Outlets. I remember the first time I wore it was at a library orientation for the psych doctoral students....and my friends and I snuck out, like we were prisoners breaking free from the library, and went to a bar for afternoon beers. The stripes on the shirt are sewn together, not merely printed on, and it's still a favorite of mine, 8 years later. The Indigo Girls song "Devotion" reminds me of early summer in Manhattan, right before I left, walking along the streets of the Upper West Side with my brand-new iPod (this was when they first came out), listening to it. And of course, "Allentown" and "Glory Days" brings me back to undergrad, drinking clandestine beers in our dorm rooms, dancing and screaming the lyrics, and laughing like there was no tomorrow. Right before I left NJ to come down to NC, I kept listening to Kate Voegle's "It's Only Life"; I can remember leaving Jonel's house after saying goodbye to the boys and crying. When I hear "One More Dollar" by Gillian Welch, it reminds me of listening to music on the green last summer with Lauren. When I hear "Jerusalem of Gold" or the Israel national anthem "Hatikvah", it brings me right back to Tel Aviv, where I heard Hatikvah and stood at attention before the Israeli flag, or the Old City and eating falafel. And whenever I hear "Carolina in my Mind" by James Taylor, it always makes me so incredibly, ridiculously happy that I live in Chapel Hill. Music, for me, is especially sensory. It can lift my mood, comfort me, inspire me and push me another mile on the treadmill. Here are some of my faves...this idea was taken from the blog Jewish Girl in Wasp's Clothing. :)

Songs that make me:

want to knock back a beer, put on a "going-out shirt" and dance all night: "You Shook Me All Night Long", byAC/DC...."Livin' on a Prayer" by Bon Jovi...."Glory Days" by Bruce Springsteen...."Money Ain't a Thang" by Jay-Z..."Not a Player" by Big Punisher...."Start Me Up" by the Rolling Stones... "Alcohol" by BNL...."Gold Digger" by Kanye West.

ignore the burning in my legs and the fatigue and run another mile: "Ali in the Jungle" by The Hours...."Everytime We Touch" and "Evacuate the Dancefloor" by Cascada..."Eye of the Tiger"..."Lose Yourself" by Eminem...."Tik Tok" by Ke$ha..."Miami" by Will Smith.

want to throw an 80s party: "Take On Me" by A-ha..."Billie Jean" and "Smooth Criminal" by Michael Jackson..."Gloria" by Laura Branigan....any song by the Beastie Boys...."Pour Some Sugar on Me" by Def Leppard....."Like a Virgin" by Madonna...."Here I Go Again" by Whitesnake..."Love is a Battlefield" and "Hit Me with your Best Shot" by Pat Benatar.

want to get married, right now: "Father and Daughter" by James Taylor (for dad-daughter dance)...."At Last" by Etta James..."Moondance" by Van Morrison...."If I Should Fall Behind" by Bruce Springsteen..."Because You Loved Me" by Celine Dion...."When You Say Nothing At All" by Allison Krauss.

roll down my Jeep windows and bang on the steering wheel while singing along: "waiting, watching, wishing" by Antigone Rising..."Right Kind of Wrong" by LeeAnn Rimes..."Express Yourself" by Madonna...any Paramore song..."Hollywood" by Gossip Grows on Trees..."Hold On, Hold On" by Neko Case...."Posession" by Sarah McLachlan...."Flake" by Jack Johnson.

feel better after a bad day: "Break Your Knees" by Flyleaf..."Heal Over" by KT Tunstall....versions of "Hallelujah" by Jeff Buckley, kd lang, and Kate Voegele...."Remember" by Katie Reider...."Crawl (Carry Me Through)" by Superchick...."Warm Whispers" by Missy Higgins...."You Found Me" by The Fray...."Maybe Tonight, Maybe Tomorrow" by Wide Awake.