For the love of G-d. I just keep reminding myself to take deep breaths. Manhattan parents, I just cannot even. There was a father today with a little girl - she couldn't have been more more than four, five at the very, very most - and he asked for suggestions. So naturally, I suggested Fancy Nancy or Pinkalicious. Apparently she has all the Pinkalicious books already, and after looking at the glittery Fancy Nancy book, he said he doesn't want her to read more of "this stuff." Okay. I suggested Clifford, the big red dog. Nope, she has read ALL of those. How about Dr.Seuss? Yup, she's gone through those. All of them. Every single one. I suggested the Curious George series. The genius has read all of those. She's also read "The Velveteen Rabbit," every Madeline book, dad voted down "The Giant Dance Party" without even looking at it...get the hell out of here. If she's read every single one, get this girl a goddamn medal. He just wanted to get something so he could feel morally and intellectually superior so he wasn't buying a book about Caillou from Canada or a big red dog. The little girl would have been happy with anything. Although, really, she seemed pretty passive and didn't show attraction to anything but Pinkalicious when it was mentioned. What these parents don't seem to get is that no reading is in vain. You don't get it, do you, people? Foster your child's interest. Make it fun. If they show an attraction to a book, take a look at it - don't dismiss it because it's not "intellectual" - if you show disdain, your kid will subconsciously pick up on that. Every time. Believe me. Even if they don't quite know what that feeling is.
There were maybe 3 or 4 kids who actually thanked their parents when they bought the books for them. It's sad when that's an anomaly. There were the few kids who were very sweet and said please and thank you and they were a joy, as were their parents. I wish there were more of them.
I know I sound crotchety and old, but seriously, the entitlement is just way too much. It's not even that - it's lack of basic manners and social skills. But what should I expect when parents actually don't even let the person in front of them put their change in their wallet before putting their own purchases in front of the person, practically forcing them out of the way. There are the parents who come up to the side of the desk while I am still helping the person in front of them - and they'll shove their stuff onto the table! Basic line etiquette, people. I thought we learned that in preschool, no? Or did we have to go to the gifted and talented preschool for that? Oh, snap.
I also think maybe the whole competitive, driven academic thing is nagging me. I have been a gunner my entire life. Meaning I have been competitive in classes. Always doing the readings. Raising my hand. Honors classes. Honor Roll. Everything depended on it. And then in grad school, at UNC, everything depended on getting into a PhD program. And when I didn't, my entire world as I knew it dissolved. I had no idea who I was. I worked freelance and nannied for 2 years, and then applied to the MFA programs. At 30, I finally let go of the need to try and be the best. (and yes, I get the irony that I wound up at Columbia). Maybe I've failed. Maybe I haven't. It's all in who's seeing the picture, I guess.
Another thing I don't get is this phenomenon of parents buying a gift for a child on the way to said child's birthday party. They have waited until they are en route to the party to get a gift. Making it essential that they get out of the store quickly. With the present wrapped. In the good ole' days, we used to go ahead of time and pick out a present, really take time with the decision, and then wrap it at home. I just don't understand this. Does this happen everywhere or just here? Is it a generational thing?
If I sound cranky, I am. I'm tired. I'm still not physically 100%. I have made absolutely no progress on my thesis because I'm always so tired or blah. My tremors are especially pronounced lately. My next appt is at the end of June, but what's the movement disorder dr going to do? There is no more medication to try. Klonopin dulls the tremors a little, but to see any real improvement, I have to take a full pill, which knocks me out, which does not bode well for taking it during the day. And it has a long half-life, so even if I take it at night, I have that "hung-over" and super tired feeling the next day, which is a bummer. And people, benzos are addictive substances. As Nancy Reagan taught me, "Just say no to drugs."
But parents, here's a gifted kid pro-tip: In the real world, people don't really give a shit if you're "gifted" or not. So along with buying whatever book you're buying, teach your child to say please and thank you. And I promise - promise - your child will not disintegrate if you tell her "no" to something. Hard as it may be to believe, it is, in fact, true. If you don't feel comfortable trying it at home, do it in a public place first, just in case.
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2 comments:
I totally feel you on the Klonopin hangover. I get it too so whenever I need one I have to weigh the benefits. Mostly, I just end up skipping.
Fantastic blog! I worked retail for many, many years and this feels...scarily familiar :) It's nice to know I'm not alone :)
Thanks, Romily! I finished "Find Me" - LOVED. And now, of course, I want to know what happens next! :)
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