Limited time only.

What would you do if you were told you had weeks to live? We've all thought about this at one point or another in our lives - "If I had 6 months to live," "If I had a month to live..." But what happens if you find yourself in a situation where you are faced with exactly that? My aunt will be going home on hospice sometime this week, after living with ovarian cancer for two years. Her oncologist said she has weeks. I keep thinking about hearing those words, and how scary it must be, late at night, lost in your own thoughts knowing your time is limited. Granted, all of us have limited time here, but to be told a quantifiable number is beyond comprehension. Because realistically, she is weak. On a feeding tube. Sick. Forget all those things you'd think you'd do - go here and there, eat this and that - what if you can't do that in the time you have left?

We like to talk about a "good death," or "dying with dignity." And I'm all for that. I am all for palliative medicine and not using extreme measures at the end of life that are only going to cause pain and suffering. I am all for dying at home, with loved ones by your side, being lucid enough to be able to tell everyone how you feel. But really, when you think about it, when it comes, it is really good? Is there such a thing as a good death? I don't know. Maybe it's something personal for each person, and only you can be the judge of what is "good."

And as schmaltzy as it sounds, why wait until you hear that from a doctor? By that point, there are good odds you might not be able to do all those things on your "Bucket List." One of the many reasons I chose to follow my passion and write is because I realized that life is short. Why waste the time I have on earth doing something I'm not crazy about? I think lots of people put things off until they "have time," or "when the time is right," or whatever. And planning and responsibility is a good thing - but some people, myself included - tend to get so busy in the planning and worrying and waiting that we miss our chance.

Last year on my birthday, I vowed that my thirties would be about abundance, about making choices based in love and hope instead of fear. So far, it has been a struggle, but the choices I have made from those places have paid off exponentially. I don't want to turn 40 and say "I wish I'd done that." G-d forbid I get sick and am told I have limited time, I don't want to lay in the hospital and fiercely wish I'd done certain things.

Thanksgiving is coming up, and lots of people take the time to think about what they're thankful for. An "attitude of gratitude," if you will. Because when you are filled with gratitude, it's hard to feel anything like emptiness or sadness. This Thanksgiving, I am thankful for my entire family, my new friends in NY, supportive people, my health and my life.

What more is there?