if you let me play sports...

Sports has always been a part of my life. As a girl, I took gymnastics lessons; tumbling and flipping came easy to me. I'd do back walkovers up and down the lawn, practice back handsprings with my friend Nikki, and do flips off the diving board in our pool. In high school, I decided to take up tennis; after one year, I was playing Varsity. Being on the tennis court gave me a sense of peace - running the lines, laps around the court, practicing my two-handed backhand and popping open a new can of tennis balls...I loved it. I still do, although I haven't been on a court in forever. I planned my summers around tennis. Wimbledon would always seem to fall during tennis tryouts. I'd go to morning tryouts, come home and watch tennis and eat lunch, and go back for afternoon tryouts and practice. When I got to college, I contemplated trying out for the team, but was lured to rugby by the promise of parties after every game. Rugby was like no other sport - I would go back to the dorm after a game and party with black and blue bruises from head to toe, exhausted, and as happy as a pig in slop. Playing rugby was a badge of honor, that I was tough enough to play a sport with no timeouts, full body contact and tackling. And now, I have triathlon.

Due to my foot surgery, I am relegated to only swimming right now. But just getting my body moving again has given me back a part of myself. There is a large part of me that identifies as an athlete. It is something I am decent at. At a time when I am struggling in school - something preveiously UNHEARD OF for me - this makes me feel good at something. Most people are really good at something. I've always been really good at school. And when I don't have that, I'm a little lost. But sports makes me feel like I'm good at something again. Gives me a sense of accomplishment. Satisfaction. Even just entering the Wellness Center and locker room, I can feel my body relax, like this is where I'm supposed to be, it's familiar, it's natural. I'm a sports girl. The fact that I am (trying to) study for ACSM certification for personal training so I can work part-time while waiting on nursing school decisions is exciting for me. Unfortunately, I haven't really been able to even look at the ACSM books because of physiology. At any rate, I am getting back to my athletic self, which makes me feel good. As Molly Barker writes, it gets me out of the "Girl Box", those imposed restrictions that tell us we're not pretty enough, or thin enough, or good enough....or simply, enough. It brings me to my self. Which is what we all strive for, right?