everyone's a Napoleon.

wow. It's been a while. The last semester has been very busy, and I've taken some time to take care of myself. I've applied for a teaching fellowship here but am still applying to other jobs here and in NC, because I honestly don't know if staying in NY would be the best - or healthiest - option for me. I applied for a job at The Strand - and the rumors are true. There is a goddamn literary quiz on the application. A pretentious, obscure, eye-roll worthy lit quiz where you match up authors with their books. Authors like Gogol and Naipaul and McCullers and Ibsen. I think I got most of them, but really? You have got to be kidding me. THIS is what you are weeding us out with? There is a sign that says if they don't call you within a week of your application, there's not a spot for you there. Obviously, it's been like, three weeks, so the Strand evidently does not want me. FINE. I DIDN'T WANT YOU EITHER, SURLY BOOKSHOP PEOPLE. I like to smile at people and talk with customers, not act like I'm too cool for you and unless you're reading something totally obscure, can't give you the time of day.......like many people there seem to be. But I still go there, because the $1.99 ARCs are just unbeatable and the creaky wood floors and the smell of musty old paper makes me feel less alone and like I've found a home of sorts in this city of misery. Lately I have preferred books to people, because books don't form cliques and forget about you. Books don't act like assholes. I honestly think that even in a grad school environment, there is something about it that for some people, makes them revert back to middle school and it's like Mean Girls, redux. Using people when it's convenient for them, then casting them aside when they feel they've "moved up" in the social ranks. Fuck that, I'm not playing your game. Over it. Sometimes it is all I can do to go to class and smile and not breathe again until I go back to my apartment.