life choices.

I don't usually follow this celebrity gossip, and try to refrain from being snarky or judgemental, but I've been reading stuff about Diem Brown, the former MTV Road Rules competitor. And you know, it's stirring up some really strong, conflicting opinions. At the age of 22, she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, and they removed one ovary and several lymph nodes - if I'm not mistaken, I think it was Stage II. In June, she faced a recurrence of the disease. When she went public, she made a comment on Twitter, saying  she "didn't realize ovarian cancer could come back." Does anyone else find this odd? Didn't her oncologist tell her there could be a chance of recurrence? I mean, that's what follow-up visits are for.
So she is 30 right now, and unmarried, and has already frozen eggs. She is curently postponing surgery and chemotherapy to undergo one more round of fertility medicine and egg harvesting. She feels very strongly about having a biological child, and is willing to take the chance at the risk of delaying treatment.
Okay. I certainly, most definitely understand the desire, the inborn instinct to want biological children. It is so powerful. I'm 31, and it is always on my mind, that my time is running out. But, I also wonder if she'd be so adamant about having a biological child if adoption were seen differently in society. So often, people say they want "their own" children. Adoption or biological, it's *still* "your child." Adoption is too often seen as a back-up, or second best. I don't know. Ovarian cancer is a killer. Is it worth delaying treatment for the chance of having a biological child? Of course, only the individual can make that decision. It's an individual choice. We fought for the right to choose, after all.

But I cannot help but think, what the fuck are you doing? I don't know. If I were diagnosed with a reproductive tract cancer, I would do everything I could to survive, or give myself the best chance or survival. If it meant not having biological children, I'd be fine with adoption. I can't take care of a child, biological or not, if I'm super sick or dead.

I have a friend who had lymphoma in her early twenties, putting her into early menopause. After she got married, they hired a surrogate with a donor egg, but she miscarried. So what did J do? Using her husband's sperm and a donor egg, they implanted a fertilized egg into J's uterus. And she gave birth. Is the child any "less hers" because it's not J's egg? Of course not.

There are many, many ways to become a mother. Is having a biological child worth your health or survival?
That's for you to answer.